Tuesday, June 22
im still sick.. n it sucks. but i had half a tub of marigold neapolitan ice-cream yesterday.. nuf said, i'm never going to recover.
i went for a funeral yesterday.. got myself thinking..
we were there to pay our last respects to my dad's brother's wife's father.. he was a strong man.. he had succumbed to various diseases before only to fight it and recover, time and again.
last week, my cousin got engaged (cousin meaning, my dad's brother's daughter). the old man was there.. i watched him for quite a while, in awe, how healthy he seemed. i was video-woman for the day.. n for some odd and unexplainable reason, i felt an urge to shoot the old man.. so i did. i zoomed in on him while he was eating.. i think he didn't notice.
i watched the tape a few times this morning.. unable to accept the fact that he's gone.. i'm not close to him.. n never was. but i felt the lost.. maybe because i saw him looking all healthy, strong and alright just last week. it felt... surreal, looking at his motionless body yesterday. then i realised that i was standing right next to the spot where he was eating last week.
the atmosphere in my uncle's house was a stark contrast to last week's engagement. tears instead of smiles, sobs instead of laughter, regret in place of joy.
regret. that's the one thing i do not want in my life. it hit me then how important it was to cherish my family and my grandad. i guess in the case of my grandad.. i've mentally braced myself.. i mean.. he's not getting any younger.. as for my family.. i just pray that i have no regrets.. if they were to leave before me.. or otherwise. as for my friends.. i guess they know that i cherish them and im overjoyed to have them in my life.
as i offer a little prayer for the old man, to light up his place in the warm soil, i hope u join me. Al-Fateha.
i went for a funeral yesterday.. got myself thinking..
we were there to pay our last respects to my dad's brother's wife's father.. he was a strong man.. he had succumbed to various diseases before only to fight it and recover, time and again.
last week, my cousin got engaged (cousin meaning, my dad's brother's daughter). the old man was there.. i watched him for quite a while, in awe, how healthy he seemed. i was video-woman for the day.. n for some odd and unexplainable reason, i felt an urge to shoot the old man.. so i did. i zoomed in on him while he was eating.. i think he didn't notice.
i watched the tape a few times this morning.. unable to accept the fact that he's gone.. i'm not close to him.. n never was. but i felt the lost.. maybe because i saw him looking all healthy, strong and alright just last week. it felt... surreal, looking at his motionless body yesterday. then i realised that i was standing right next to the spot where he was eating last week.
the atmosphere in my uncle's house was a stark contrast to last week's engagement. tears instead of smiles, sobs instead of laughter, regret in place of joy.
regret. that's the one thing i do not want in my life. it hit me then how important it was to cherish my family and my grandad. i guess in the case of my grandad.. i've mentally braced myself.. i mean.. he's not getting any younger.. as for my family.. i just pray that i have no regrets.. if they were to leave before me.. or otherwise. as for my friends.. i guess they know that i cherish them and im overjoyed to have them in my life.
as i offer a little prayer for the old man, to light up his place in the warm soil, i hope u join me. Al-Fateha.
ABOUT ME
I eat children for breakfast, I like my boys big and thick and I looove scratching my nose. My alter ego? She's that girl your mother warned you about.
ABOUT THE BLOG
Documenting parts of my rather uneventful life with writings that ocassionally display my schizophrenic tendencies. Blame it on the Gemini starsign.
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