Dear MR (insert name of prefered rich guy here),

so here's the deal. im broke. and im pretty much love-less too. and im also pretty convinced tt im gonna be alone for a long time to come. and also im pretty unpretty.

so wat has all this gt to do with u?

well, i recently read the Time magazine (dec 26) issue, where Bill & Melinda Gates as well as Bono were hailed as Persons of The Year. "Why?" u ask. For being "good samaritans", meaning, they gave a part of their.. ehem.. fortune to help the poor, despaired and needy.

bearing that in mind, i have a proposition for u.

the suggestion is this- i would like you to sponsor me throughout my entire life (be it short or long).. financially. this would include my education expenses, clothes, bags, shoes, movies, dates, concert tickets, clothes, shoes and more bags.. my driving license, including class 2b and 2a as well as class 3. cat vetenarian(dunno how to spell) fees, all my parents future medical bills, my brother's future wedding costs, a lifetime supply of travel packages for the family as well as a house on a small, sunny island off the coast of ceylon.

in exchange for that, i will marry u. (altho u have to be willing to convert first).

other options include taking me as a step daughter. (ala richard branson)

so whats in it for u?

well... first and foremost, my company(ppl seem to like that for some ODD reason). secondly, the title of "good samaritan", "good guy" or if u're lucky, "BILLIONAIRE PHILANTHROPHIST". i betcha THAT wud look good on ur resume for future marriages if any (max 4, inclusive of moi). i will actuali volunteer myself to do interviews and highlight the plight of poor singapore children.. especially those without i-Pods and broadband access. i do warn u tt the images might be disturbing... the horror the horror!!!! with that, u might land the cover of Time and i, on the other hand, might just land a cover of Vogue.

thirdly, exoticism. tts wat i bring to the table. think nicholas cage (who married a jap) or angelina jolie (think baby maddox and wats-that-african-girls-name?). the memoirs of a geisha tout is currently in at the moment.. as seen from the many kimono inspired outfits worn to the various mtv awards. so yeap. let's just say tt u wud be hanging with the "in" crowd. move over paris.

fourth, i bake.

fifth, i dont smoke, drink or gamble. neither do i do drugs. so u can be certain that ur fortune wont be gambled away, or unnecessarily transacted into the tobacco industry. rest assured, ur money will be spent wisely and 10 cents out of every dollar donated would go towards the care of our kidney patients.......... (ok fine.. tt was a lousy attempt at comic relief)

on a final note, i just want to say that i am not a gold digger. i am simply a savvy business woman and in business, benefits and costs are traded. after much deliberation, i have come to the conclusion that money is no object to u.. and STATUS is more important. because, i learnt (from observation), that status is power. and power.. is measured in watts. (just had to do tt)

i really hope that u would consider my offer. i look forward to ur reply.



yours faithfully

Ain niA
XOXO



ps: should u reject my proposal, cud u be so kind as to send me a chinook.. just for old time's sake?
pps: and a cream coloured vespa?
ppps: and an osim i-medic chair for my dad?