i dont know wat else to do.

i know im writing this out of anger, perhaps. disappointment maybe but a definite sense of confusion.

i dont understand ur actions. they dont seem to match your words. there seems to be sthg that u're hiding from us. its unfair! i dont understand. its unfair that i dont get to understnd.

you know i love you very very much and i know that you love me too but i cant help but doubt you sometimes. i cant trust u sometimes. there seems to be so much going on under the surface. too much.

i dont understand the meaning of it. why a six hundred dollar piece of jewelry in such times? i dont want it. i dont need it. i want a driving license and u cant, u refuse to help me out with that. and then u go out and buy me this "gift" i suppose out of impulse?

i could have done so so much more with that money.

i dont believe it.

i work so hard to earn my own keeps. i try to lift the burden off your shoulders. i am trying to help. sometimes, u make the situation sound so dire, and i feel so pressured by it. its only that i dont show. as far as possible i try not to get help from you, i dont want to be a burden(sometimes everyone seems to make me sound like one). i spend so much time n energy to try support myself through school n i believe i have done tht successfully thus far.

i am trying to be responsible for myself.

i have so much on my mind. my time is fully taken up. i feel like a ticking time bomb.

i know i dont show it but im cracking on the inside. i really am. but i know im stronger than tt and i will wake up tmr and strive on. i will wake up everyday and strive on.

i wish sometimes u'd just look at it from my view point and know wat i reali reali want.

dont think i dont appreciate ur gesture. dont think i dont appreciate u. dont think i dont appreciate the bracelet. i guess its just a qn of wrong timing.

but dont worry, u'll see a smile on my face. u'll see it on my wrists. i will think of u evrytime i see it.

sometimes i just wish u'd ask me first.