i feel so saaaaaadddddddd...

u know why???

i havent been able to shop for so long....

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......

i want to shop...................

i want money..................

i dont have money........

u know why????

coz i had to cancel a lot of tuition last month...............

u know why????

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA............

i shant elaborate.

sigh.

imagine wat it'll be like if one day a wad of money just plopped down in front of u, from the sky. its sorta like the movie "Millions" if u recall.

or imagine if u were just walking walking home.. happily walking when u suddenly step on a ten thousand dollar note. manelah tau kan, orang nak kasi duit hantaran sekali tercicir ke.. or maybe ppl just sell their house skali get downpayment in cash ke... or some ah pek just collected toto money then it just dropped out of his pocket..

wat would u do?

i mean, u cant like go to a police station and report that u found a 10 000 dollar note wat. like wat can they do seh? trace it to the rightful owner?

if it were me, i'd just take it and consider it my luck lor. i wont even feel guilty. like. for wat sia? its not as if i saw someone drop it and i din bother to chase after tt fella right? lets just assume, hypothetically, tt there's nobody there.. i just accidentally stepped on wat i thought is a big rectangular brown paper. incidentally, i felt like looking down and scratching my ankle. then, to my utmost surprise, i saw tt it was a 10 000 note *SUPER SURPRISED FACE!*

the first thing i'd do, is of course, i'd pick it up and shove it in my pocket. then, right after picking up the note, i'd whip out my brush and i'll comb my hair. i must also remember to check my reflection in the mirror.. who knows rite, skali its some candid camera or gotcha prank. or someone set me up to get "PuNk'd" or sthg. so to get ready for such unforeseen circumstances, must maintain jembu ma.

then i'd walk away, fast. if right, after 5 minutes no one suddenly jump out from the bushes and shove a camera in my face or something.. then i know its for real! that's when i'll start being so happy that i wud need to pee!! and like the need to pee wud be so great tt i'll be jumping up and down excitedly! i wud go to one corner, or just get on the nearest elevator available and inspect the money to see if its real. of course, i must ensure tt no one is around.

once i know tt the money is legitimate and no form of deception or trickery is involved, the first thing i'll do is head home straightaway. of course the money would be shoved in the front pocket of my jeans and my hand will stay there AT ALL TIMES until i reach home. once i reach home, i'd transfer the note into my blue purse, which is in super bad condition already. then, i will change into the ugliest t shirt and jeans i can find in my wardrobe, mess up my face and hair and head towards orchard road, on bus 502 (from gek poh bus stop), clutching my purse tightly.

once i reach orchard road, the first stop would be Hermes at Wheelock Place.. Yes.. the place where they black out the windows and draw the blinds so tt "ordinary" ppl cannot look in. bloody show offs. i would saunter in, with my ugly clothes and uncombed hair and walk around, purposely touching everything on display. and i mean EVERYTHING.

then one of the store assistants (more explicitly, the one who visibly sneered when i walked in), would say something like "Miss....... *dramatic pause* Puh-leeze get ur (greasy) hands off the display items..." *haughty expression*

then i'd be like.. *cocks left eyebrow*

*draws in a deep breath* "why? *crosses arm* coz u think i cant afford them? *sneer/rolls eyes* get me those shoes in size 9 and that orange scarve on the top shelf.. and...... *points* that purple hand bag. make it snappy........ Miss. " *SUPER HAUGHTY DIRTY LOOK*

then she'll think im merely challenging her and she'll take down all these things for me.. thinking i cant afford them. i'll try on the shoes.. hmm.. they're pretty ok.. but i've seen better.. i take a look at the bag and see that its soooo last season and matronly. nope.. not for me.. oh well.. i'll just take the scarve then. wait. make that 2 scarves.. one in orange and the other, in a nude sand colour. heck. might as well get 2 more for my mum.

"i'll have these.." i say, not even asking how much each of them cost.

she, still in her challenging mode, brings it over to her cashier colleague, sharing a not-so-surreptitious smirk .

"that'll be $1879.35" , says the cashier girl, almost like giving an invisible hi-5 to her friend. "Take that, bitch.", they seem to be saying. then, with my now patented "selamba face", i'll take out 'THE' note from my worn out purse and give it to her.

Shock fills her system! Her eyes bulge out like pam anderson's u-know-wats. all she could think was GASP!! THE HOrror! The HOrrOr!!

her friend, of course, promptly faints and has to be resuscitated.

i, on the other hand, triumphantly collect my change ($8120.65 in total), stuff it in my soon-going-to-be ex-purse and cooly saunter out of the store.

a few minutes later, i hear a distant call... "Miss!" a handsome, young man calls out, chasing after me.

i tun around. slowly. deliberately. mockingly.

"U forgot to the scarves.." he says, handing me the Hermes bags.

Damn. Silly me.

As i extend my arms to reach for the bag.. i catch his gaze. His eyes were warm and hopeful. They seem to say "Be my sugar mama..."

i could only refuse him gently.

cos all i wanted to do was go for more SHOPPING!!!!!!!!

which reminds me..

i dont have money........

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......

sigh.