mum's sick. she has been having these giddy spells all day. Dunno wats wrong la. menopause maybe. she cant even get up or move around. and she's been vomitting air. u know those kinda vomit where nothing comes out but sound. anyway tt means tt all the chores fall on me. which sucks.

not tt i cant help her out once in a while u know.. i mean of she's sick she's sick. cant blame her... but.. it just sucks when u're out to school at 930am and come back at 930pm to find out that u have to clear the kitchen, wash the dishes n do the laundry. i dunno. im just ticked for some reason. perhaps im just tired.

but i reali cant stand the way my mum still can be so annoying even when she's sick. my mum has this really bad habit of telling ppl how to do things exactly the way she wants it. and its damn irksome i tell u coz u know me.. i like to do things my way coz i know tt i can always find a way to do things more effectively. my mum is just anal with a capital A. she just like things to be exactly the way she wants it to be at every step of the way. somehow, she tinks tt deviating will not yield the same result. which is a concept that i thoroughly do not understand and have a hard time agreeing with. its the journey not the destination my ass. its always the destination- cradle to grave. we all do things differently in between but end up in the same place. case in point, anna nicole smith.

sigh.

but i guess writing is freeing up the knot i have (which i cant tell is in my head or my heart) again. tt had always been the goal anyway. unloading.

but one thing i cant understand is how i always fail to put down what i truly feel inside. i am fully aware and conscious of all my decisions to disclose my feelings only partially. for example, i could have reali been pissed n b like fck this and fck that coz i have to do the chores.. but somehow i dont translate it into my writing. not tt i dont wish to, i just dont. and tt is a barrier that i find immensely difficult to overcome. it sucks, balls.

but anw, i feel like going to bed. im shagged. totally. n i might not b able to see Brody tmr. i reali want to see Babel. well, fck it. i guess tts life.