i was speaking to a friend earlier on about our lives and how its changed thus far. my friend, being a hopeless romantic, still fathoms the idea of 'the one', a concept that i do still believe in, but from a different angle. u see, for some ppl, 'the one' is an imagery of someone who they believe happens to be the perfect other soul for them out there. incidentally (i wouldn know if there's any correlation), these ppl tend to be single. i guess its logical.. ppl who wait for their "the one"s to come along wont be satisfied with just anyone.

the problem is, what if u dont find "the one" that so called exists by the time u are ready to settle down. worst still, what if u had rejected the idea of loving someone else because u believe that "the one" will come along and u will automatically love that person. its sorta like love at first sight, which i totally tink is a complete myth. i tink ppl get attracted or sense chemistry at first sight, but they shouldnt jump into loving someone before getting to know that person. in a nutshell, perhaps what im trying to say is that ppl need to learn to love. "the one" is not someone that appears out of mid air, "the one" is someone you've learnt to love, someone you love and someone you believe you will continue loving.

if im not mistaken, the first time i met my beau back then at cafe express, i could tell that there was some chemistry between us. of course he hated me at first coz he thought i was very stand-offish and wat not.. but heck, everyone thinks tt about me. luckily, we gave each other a chance to know more about one another and look where we are now. along the way, i do size him up as a potential husband and i am pretty frank about it. i mean, y shouldnt i be? and i made it quite clear to him that if i think i or he is going to be happier or wealthier or more protected with somebody else, then we shud make logical and not emotional decisions. be like singapore, not malaysia.

seriously.. if jessica alba or adriana lima comes to singapore one day and falls in love with him, i would definitely want him to go be with her and live a more comfortable life for himself and his family. i tink that's when u realise u really love someone. when u are able to put someone elses needs before urself's. when u are willing to make that sacrifice to part just so another could be happy.

at the same time, i've learnt from previous experience that there is a fine line between making sacrifices and being a complete moron. trust me, u dun want to go there. the feeling totally sucks. but u know what, at least i learnt. and as my friend told me, i've changed my views about love or romance.

i am a romantic person, in my own way. but i am not a hopeless romantic who idealises an embodiment of a deceptive "one". i am grateful to be blessed with someone who lets me be and doesnt question me about my moronic past. i am grateful to be with someone who i can talk about the future with without feeling an overwhelming sense of commitment or being tied down. i am grateful to be forgiven and i am grateful to receive apologies for the utterly moronic things we sometimes do to each other.

sure, i can tell u straight up that there are people who never thought that we would last. and up to this day, there are still forces and people that try to shimmy their way in to try and be the third party. and sure, ppl criticise and call me all sorts of things (behind my back of course coz for some reason they dont have the nuts to say it to my face) for having other guy friends even when im in a pretty committed relationship.

all i can say is, i know who i am and i know what im doing. if u think im so horrible then come talk to me about it. or better, u can speak to my man about it. no assurance u wont go away with a broken rib though. *shrugs*