im supposed to be studying for my astronomy exams tmr. but i reali dun feel like studying coz i dont think the professors are credible. here's why.
Notes and AMINATIONS. cute.PASS examination questions. (but fail spelling)
SPEICAL section.i rest my case.
The Philophobic's guide to Landing a guy.
Prelude
i started this book with one intention in mind. to become the next Dr Phil. ok no, not reali. its to make lots of money. but of course my secondary goal is to help ppl, bcoz i have a good heart. really.
Dedication
To AhBoy & AhGirl. thanks for being the best cats alive. i wouldn have been here without u.
Chapter 1
some of u have been lonely for a long time. and really, u're not asking for much. just a companion to be with. to love and to love u (tt is, if u believe in love). i understand tt some of u might be facing a sense of despair. might have been a past experience (a bad one at that) but my advice is, strive on. improve urself, not just to snag a guy. improving urself enhances ur self-confidence, and thus, u will feel more ready and equipped to go for him.
really, its not that difficult to snag a guy.
its true wat they say, all guys are the same.
well, i'm not saying that ALL guys are the same per se, but i think its pretty easy to categorize guys into.. umm... categories.
in this first chapter, we will be looking at dissecting the general male population into manageable bite-sized chunks. this categorization of the male species is usually dependant on the likes and interests of the subject. A disguised study conducted on a long-term basis by moi revealed underlying patterns. Below, i list (and enumerate) some examples. they may not be precise, but data from sample suggest they possess a certain degree of generalizability and thus have external validity.
Type 1: GEEKs. Likes & interests: Gadgets, computer stuff, science, maths and related subjects. Soft spot: Fellow gadget girls. Also have an unexplained weakness towards the unattainable such as school belles and hot babes. Strengths: Mostly talented and high probability of high paying jobs (read: CASH COW!!). Weaknesses: Lacklustre in the looks department and basically suck in the romance/charm arena. Typical look: no brand t-shirt, no brand pants, no brand sneakers and no brand sling bags. Famous examples: The dorks who created google.
Type 2: RESIDENT HOTTIEs. Likes & interests: Always seeking for ways to better self in order to attract more honeys. Soft spot: Girls who flaunt it because they have it. Usually flits around from girl to girl until he finds THE ONE.. or impregnates someone. Strengths: Well-dressed/coiffured, hot bods, usually good dancers, "experienced".. choose wisely and u may end up with a trust fund baby (read: YEA BABY!!) Weaknesses: not many, but they're mostly JERKS. Typical look: Bright, fashionable, expensive looking clothes, clean-shaven and an unmistakeable swagger. Famous examples: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt.
Type 3: THE EMOs. Likes & interests: The arts, intellectual musings, listening to, composing, arranging music. Soft spot: The "girl of (his) dreams. She has a beautiful face, a beautiful heart, a beautiful mind, a beautiful soul". Strengths: He can sing and as an added bonus, can write u poems, even songs. Weaknesses: Frequently depressed, possessive and tendency to unload their emotional baggage crap on u. Typical look: Ruffled, sexy messed up hair, band t-shirts, worned jeans, converse-ish sneakers and an acoustic guitar. Famous examples: John Mayer, Azahari J(ok. so he's nt famous, yet).
Type 4: THE ABANG2s. Likes & interests: practical things like good food, dirty jokes, hot girls, motorbikes etc. Also has some strange affinity towards "The Newpaper", Timberland-ish shoes and things they feel make them look "cool". Soft spot: They go for a girl tt suits their taste, both extrinsically and intrinsically. Strengths: Chilled, laid-back, easy-going and practical. Weaknesses: Most have low to zero wit and have a tendency towards stereoperception. Also known to display HIGH INSENSITIVITY. Typical look: Dark, plain shirts, dark baggy jeans, rugged facial hair, those timberland-ish shoes. Famous examples: Jesse James, Anthony Bourdain.
Type 5: THE WTVs. Likes & interests: pursue long term goals instead of worrying about short term goals. Soft spot: Similar girls. Strengths: Analytical, forward-thinking and non-conformist. Weaknesses: Sometimes too wtv until u become fed-up with their wtv-ness. Typical look: The wtv look - wtvla tshirt, anyhow wear pants, berms, flipflops or wtv footwear they can find. Famous examples: Glenn Ong, tt guy from Scrubs.
I've just brought u thru some of the characteristics that u can use to classify guys and hopefully, u can determine the segment that u want to target. think of courtship as a marketing strategy. First, u need to segment ur consumers. Next, decide on the best segment to target, one in which u have high chances of promoting urself successfully.
Once, u have already done tt, the next step is to position urself. To do tt, u first have to know wat ur customers want. This will be covered in chapter 2.
(To subscribe, pls transfer $1 to my POSB account. alternatively, u can pay me a compliment on the tagboard. and NO.. saying tt im annoying or tt ive lost it doesnt count)
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no.. i am not depressed. FAR from that.
im happy. yes yes.. im very very happy.. but the downward spiral i was referring to was mainly my brain.
i dunno why la.. but i'm seriously becoming like.. dumb.
WHY?
have i been around too many kids and tried to get down to their level and as a result im stuck at tt level?
hee2.
tt sucks.
i need to start being stimulated by some intellectual waves man.. i need to bring myself from a neutral state to a desired state (arousal theory).
i feel sooooo dumb.. and out of touch... i din even know about the McCartney divorce.
:(
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And soon you will see,
you were meant for me
And I was meant for you
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oh reali shit! oh my freakin godness!!!!! aaaaaaaaaah.
i am in DEEP SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.
this sux.
let me just die,.
..
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshishitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
ok.
im done.
boy, i guess its true wat they say,
blogging is cathartic.
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