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Wednesday, August 31


I PONNED SCHOOL TODAY!!!!

ive been a bad bad girl............. *smacks self with AB102 ttbk*.

dunno leh. today feel a bit weird2 ah. like.. head is swirling, body is weak n heavy... m i pregnant?

the answer is a definite NO since im still a virgin...

ooooh. speaking of being pregnant, i watched "in the womb" on national geographic channel...

my verdict?

one word.........

.
.
.

GROSS!!@!!!

ok ok. i know there are ppl who are like.. "pregnancy is such a beautiful, wonderful thing.. there's nothing like it..." yada yada yada. ok. lemme just digress.

once upon a time, i was like tt! in fact, for my sec 4 mid yr english paper 1 rite, i attempted this essay ah. it was the first question. and only had one word. and the word was.... BEAUTY. it was an open topic so we could choose to answer in any way we want.

anw, guess wat i did? from start to finish rite, all i did was describe someone giving birth. the first sentence was sthg like "the sun was setting in the evening sky..." and i went on n on abt pushing n sweating, but surprisingly, i managed to do so in a delicate manner.. anw, to cut the long story short, at the end of the essay, the baby came out lah.

the reason i can recall this particular essay is because i gt 34 for it. upon 40! like... whoa. FIRST TIME seh!!! and... and... last time lah. *sheepish grin*

so i guess i did deliver a relevant essay rite? hence, the way i described must have been beautiful right? so once upon a time, i must have thought tt giving birth was beautiful rite?

well.. tt was until i watched the show..... more explicitly, the last scene, where they showed an actual natural birth...


water breaking, dialating cervix, blood, gore, umbilical cord and even the removal of the placenta post birth. major EEUUWW.

ok. dont get me wrong. its not like i dun wan children of my own. i want!! (in small, even numbers tho.. like 2 or 4..) but imagine a freaking BABY coming out of a bodily opening tt is at max 10 cm in diameters?

err. right now, a caesarian sounds good. WITH local anaesthesia of course.



ps: did u know tt the umbilical cord is blue, nt red..
pps: did u know tt if u dun remove the placenta, it will rot in ur body and emit a foul smell...
ppps: did u know tt i intended to blog abt sthg entirely different today..


Posted by theblackazure @ 9:55:00 PM
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Sunday, August 28


just gt back from watching Macbeth by nus ilsa tari & dance ensemble.

kla. to me rite, the solo performances were much better than the group ones. wasnt technically nor artistically sound.. to me ah. budden again, im used to watching proffessional dancers perform.. so this isn reali a fair comparison ah.

anw.... im soooooo jealous of this nus ppl..... mainly for a few reasons.

1. coz they actuali have malay cultural activities like tarian unlike this other skool lah yang cakap je ade malay cultural society.. tapi satu sen malay culture pun tarak. ciit! podah! (translation: say only got malay cultural society but not even a figment of malay culture can b seen.)

2. networking there is better than at tt other school.

3. more cute guys there than at tt other school. many2 more.......

4. cikgu osman coaches dance at nus but not at tt other school. becoz tt other school got no malay dance anw......


budden ah, tt other sch is like.. less than 2 km away fm my hse... and i need to rot onli 3 yrs instead of 4. n i dun hav to bid for timetable. n dun hav to wear nice2 to sch bcoz evrybody oso wear until jialat2 one.. n thank god for mcdonalds. n will always hav somewhere to study... n did i mention its less than 2 km away?


Posted by theblackazure @ 11:01:00 PM
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Friday, August 26


Dear YOU,

i know u're reading this.

u know wat? its not my fault tt u're so fcktuped. but stil, i accept u the way u r while secretly hoping tt someday u'll forget ur fcktuped ways. but obviously, evrything in u is too fcktuped until u cannot c tt u r so bloody fcktuped.

so wat do u do? u find weaknesses in ppl. u find weaknesses in me.

u suan me?

let me tell u sthg. im not sure if its gonna penetrate thru tt thick, fcktuped skull of urs, but im gonna say it anw. u're fcking 20 yrs old yet u act like a fcking 2 yr old. u dont earn ppl's respect, u buy it. i can take all my weaknesses, put them together, n it'll still be less than ur one weakness.

u're so fcktuped u dont even have self control. u're so fcktuped. period.

sedarlah diri tu sikit. kau orang ape?

u tink ur fcktuped "life" is so cool. we'll see who gets the last laugh. in this world and the next.

u suan me?

tell u sthg. at the rate u r going, i hope u never have a happy life. i hope u'll b miserable forever. im not wishing u bad things but u're so fcktuped it isnt even mildly fair if u lead a happy life. im pissed. its like watching YOU rip MY heart out AGAIN and AGAIN and crushing it beneath ur foot.

its nt my fault u're so fcktuped.

i'll probably still give in next time u ask for my help. it's OUT OF PITY. coz u're so fcktuped and so genuinely, unbelievably stupid tt u'll taint evrything in sight. i dont hate u. i'll never hate u. but i hate ur ways.

stop pretending to be sthg u're not. it disgusts me.

u're lucky to hav her as a mother.

if u were my son, i'd shoot u between the eyes.


Posted by theblackazure @ 1:55:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 24


godddd..

tireded sia.

i just finished doing my stats project. our group effectively managed to so evrything online from start to finish. the powers of the internet i tell u. mindblogging.

tmr have to wake up at 7 coz i have a seminar at 830. y wake up so early? tmr must wear nice2 a bit lah. because i have a presentation.. and because the cute guy in my other class is doing a presentation....

which means i get to stare at him!!! yey!

haha.

i realise i prefer guys who are at least 3 yrs older. it has been like that since i was 15. haha. oops.

and i know 8 yrs difference might sound like a lot... but not realli leh...

sigh.

now i have to go do my financial management homework.



ps: tmr seminar 830-1130. stats makeup tut (presentation) 1130-130. accting tutorial (havent do yet) 230-430.
pps: i dieded.


Posted by theblackazure @ 1:03:00 AM
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Monday, August 22


why is it tt guys make a big deal out of girls and make up.

why can't they accept us the way we are?

why do they have to bitch about girls who wear too much makeup and girls who don't wear makeup.

i mean, sure.. they have the right to bitch.. go ahead. make my day.

but..

ok. think of it this way.

let's draw parallels between girls and cosmetics and guys and facial hair/gel.


point 1:

IT'S A MATTER OF VANITY. some girls think tt they need cosmetics to enhance their looks, some girls dont. in the same way, some guys think tt need facial hair/ gel to enhance their looks, some guys dont.


point 2:

IT'S A WAY TO EXPRESS INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY. some girls like dramatic eyes, some like pink rosy cheeks, some like reddish lipstick, some pinkish and some just opt for lip gloss. in the same way, some guys spike up their hair, some do the beckham, mohawk, crew-cut etc. some guys like moustaches(*cough eeew.. cough*), some like goatees and some like 5 oclock shadows.


point 3:

IT MAY BE A MEANS TO COVER-UP FLAWS. do u even know the wonders of concealer??!! it covers everything from eyebags to pimples to pigmentation problems.. hence my next point.

point 4:

IT MAY HELP TO REDUCE SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. i know for a fact tt some of my guy frens who are very used to wearing gel, when they dont have it, they freak out. they think they look sloppy lah, like just woke up lah, kental lah.. its the same with some of my girl frens!! when they dont have make-up on they feel bare, nothing to hide behind. once they put on some make-up, lo and behold, its like pushing the boost button on their confidence meter.


ok. but this is where all parallels end.

u see ah, girls rite, even if they dont like a guys moustache(eeew) or the way the brylcreem "milk" runs down their guy fren's neck rite, they'll just suck it up and try to live with it. they dont go and write postSSS on the subject in their blog.


guys.. they're sooooo petty. they can write such a loooooonnnggg post on why they dont like girls who wear green eyeshadow. BITCH rite?? then they go on nagging and nagging away on how their make-up is too thick lah, wearing too little clothes lah and so on and so forth. they think girls do this to impress them. actually, not true u know?

girls do it to make themselves feel good. it feels good to look good. and it feels good when ur girl frens tell u, "hey, u look nice today" or "i like ur top/skirt" or "i wish i had a figure like yours"..

THAT is the MAIN motivation for girls to look their best. of coz im talking about ur average girl lah. not those insecure type who needs adoration from guys etc.

my point is, we're not doing it for u, guys. dun b buay hiao bai. and dont complain complain complain.


because ah, after u finish complaining blogging wat do u do?


u go down to the mamak shop to buy FHM.

aka the guide to thick make-up and bikinis.


I.J.U.S.T.D.O.N.T.G.E.T.I.T.



Posted by theblackazure @ 2:27:00 AM
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Friday, August 19


one thing im disappointed abt in uni is how its more a mandarin speaking community than it is an english speaking one.. i dunno if this is the case only in ntu, but its still rather discomforting nonetheless.

tho im quite accustomed to it, due partly to being in commonwealth sec, it still irks me sometimes..

its not like im saying tt ppl shud speak in english all the time... its not like im saying i dun understand wat they're saying.. its not like im saying a mandarin speaking community doesn't cut it for me..

i mean, if everyone involved in the conversation are well-versed in mandarin, fine... go ahead, knock urselves out..

all im saying is that its common courtesy to acknowledge the presence of someone non-mandarin speaking in the group and use a language tt everyone understands.. so tt these ppl (read: strong reference to writer herself) wont miss out on wtv was said..

instead, these ppl go yakking on and on moving on to complex sentences tt the writer has not mastered... YET.

sigh.

put urself in these shoes.. how wud u feel if i plonked u down in the middle of a mat gang sitting at the void-deck?

i tell u, besides hokkien obscenities which may b used sporadically, the rest of the conversations wud just sound like sounds to u. fact is, a tongue which is not a native tongue is a foreign tongue. a foreign language. an alien language. mandarin is foreign to me. malay is foreign to u. unless u're indonesian or malaysian chinese who's comfortable with both tongues.. my salute goes to u man.

not tt i wanna judge and/or stereotype, but i notice tt this "problem" is more pertinent with guys. especially LOCAL GUYS. i am not sure if its bcoz of NS or genetics or the fact tt they're just insensitive, thoughtless and uncaring. nevertheless, it's still not a very nice thing to do. being in a minority group already poses certain inferiority complex issues.. i dun see the need to underscore, bold and highlight them further.

again, not typecasting, but i do realise tt my girl frens and female group mates usually go out of their way to accomodate me and my so-called "shortcomings".

i m not trying to escape the reality of the awakening giant tt is China, i AM trying to learn the language and culture. BUT, this is a seperate matter altogether.


ok.lets put it this way...
i follow project superstar a lil' bit, and i can giv u names of 20 channel 8 and channel u celebs.. but do u even know anything abt vasantham star or anugerah? do u even know they exist?

the question is, should u care?

if not, why should i?


its sad tt time and time again, i have to remind ppl tt we live in SINGAPORE.


im not trying to be demanding. neither am i preaching.

im just hoping tt some ppl would begin to understand..






ps: fyi, its not called the "mari kita", its "Majulah Singapura".


Posted by theblackazure @ 1:22:00 AM
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Sunday, August 14


it seems to be cat day today.

my fren tzul just got a new addition to his family.. a black persian cat.. a she....

(all together now) aaaaaaaawwwwwwww.......

according to him, she's still hiding.. scared i guess. cats are very chary of changes in their environment.. guess she'll be ok in 2 days time.

~~

daddy dearest left the gate ajar yesterday when he went to buy the newspapers. my cat, ah boy, strolled out and no one noticed (coz me n brother were sleeping n mum was in the kitchen). 10 minutes later my bro woke up (he sleeps in the living room) and was like.. "EH!!! ASAL GATE TAK TUTUP!!" which means "EH!! HOW COME THE GATE IS NOT CLOSED"... and my mom was like "AH BOY KELUAR!!!"

my mother seriously panicked ah. and she went out calling "Ah boy!! Ah boy!!"

hee2.

by this time i was sorta awake.. but sorta pissed coz i wanted to sleep in a lil longer..

anw, true to his nature, ah boy came sauntering home when he heard my mum call. he actually walked all the way to the lift landing. and then just sat there. kaoz. slacker.

i guess it's true tt pets take after their owner..

anw, i went back to bed..

~~

in other cat news, jay's latest entry told of keith(im assuming tts his fren) whose cat died after falling off their 5th floor balcony.

i live on the 5th floor.

gulp.


Posted by theblackazure @ 10:51:00 PM
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Saturday, August 13


local criminals are dumb.

and an embarrassment to the int'l criminal league.

well, at least i seem to think so... and there are 2 main reasons for this.

1. they are actually dumb enough to be charged for committing crime..

2. they are even dumber so as to apply for an appeal.
this is wat i call "shooting ur bloody self in the foot". BODOH sia.

i mean cmon lah ppl.. this is wat country? singapore rite...

who is the chief justice? yong pung how rite...

is he famous for granting appeal? no rite......

but wat does he do instead?

well, if he's having a super dandy day, he'll increase ur sentence by, say 50%.. like from 2 mnths to 3 mnths..

if he's having a so-so day, he'll double ur sentence.. like the stupid guy who punched his creditor. 3 mnths good alredy, go appeal sum more. skali kena 6 mnths. kaoz. orh bi quek.

ive yet to see what will happen to the guy who faces CJYong on his pms-ing days. skali he add caning. ssssyyiiioook ah.

i mean, isnt CJYong sending a clear msg to one and all(including non-criminals)?

c'mon.

The man is a busy man with an important portfolio and immense responsibilites. he simply doesnt have the time nor patience to sit thru such trifling matters. it was 3 months in jail for goodness sake. not death by hanging...

let me just say it again.. BODOH sia.

but stil, im sure there are some smart ass criminals around.. like tt sunny ang guy. im pretty sure he killed her. but of coz im just a *coughlowlifercough* who isnt of enough stature or eminence such tt her views are taken into consideration. anyways, the guy must b pretty old already so a death sentence would be like.. "watever.."

did i mention tt im not a big fan of the death sentence?





ps: did u guys see the HCJC guy who got the president's scholarship tingie? cute ay? cute.. smart.. has rich father...

pps: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............

afterthought: i hope i dont get sued. but if anyone does decide to do so, let me just tell u-- to derive the amt of money in my bank acct, simple divide a peanut by 3000. there u go.


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:36:00 PM
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Thursday, August 11


for the fellas..





and for the ladies...

Why is it so difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good looking?

.

.

They already have boyfriends.


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:30:00 PM
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Wednesday, August 10


so the deal was sealed especially after today.

yes.

im letting it slip.

sorry to bother u guys with my inane school girl crushes and all.

dont even try to guess who he is.

LET IT SLIP.


cant help feeling pathetic, but not enough to drown myself in pity. can't stop asking why.

why didnt i smile? why didnt i sit up straight? why did i talk like that? why does my hair suck and why are my clothes disdainful? why didnt i avoid his eyes? why didnt i avoid him? why couldnt he see through my act?

probably because im a good actress.

rite.

talib said he's dumb.

talib's dumb.

he said, "Maybe u didn't tell him?"

of course lah. duh.

nonetheless, a gd friend.



Blower's Daughter- Damien Rice

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my mind off of you




ps: school's fine coz im numb.


Posted by theblackazure @ 11:08:00 PM
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Friday, August 5


know wats worse than wanting something u can never have?

wanting something u might be able to have..

but knowing u probably wouldnt be able to have him it.


they say,
there are many fish in the sea.

but what if u want a sea bass? what if u not only want a sea bass, but this particular one.. coz its just right and exactly what u wanted. u try feeding it breadcrumbs, but it swims away. u know that he knows that ur on to him. it, i mean. and u know that it is trying to get away.

all u can feel is disappointment.. coz u dont know if u're going to find another one tts this perfect. n if its ever possible, it's gonna take a while..

should u just keep hoping it one day decides to swim straight into the palm of ur hands? use a rod and reel? or should u just let it slip away?

afterall, there ARE many fish in the sea.. arent there?




Pemuja Rahsia- Sheila on 7

Dan biarkan aku jadi pemuja mu
Jangan pernah hiraukan, perasaan hatiku
Tenanglah tenang pujaan hatiku, sayang
Aku takkan sampai hati bila menyentuhmu

Mungkin kau takkan pernah tahu
Betapa mudahnya kau untuk dikagumi
Mungkin kau takkan pernah sadar
Betapa mudahnya kau untuk dicintai


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:57:00 PM
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Wednesday, August 3


hi my sayangs..

howeth art thou?

haha. ok. obviously nt a lit student.

today got story.

the story is this....

today rite, was my virgin tutorial session in ntu.. AA 101(accounting 1). made some new acquaitances ah. first tutorial alredi kena do a mini presentation. so evryone had to speak ah. i tink its a great idea coz u pretty much can get an impression of wat the ppl are like.

surprisingly, there's quite a range of characters. there's the usual resident chio bu and designated hunk, the international student, the smartie pants and lo and behold! an ah beng!! hee2. during the presentation he actuali refered to the hostel rooms as bunks. WAHAHA! his head stil in ns ah...

ok la.. u might think im stereotyping.. but im not ah.

im just classifying. ;)

today went to buy textbooks. nearly died carrying them home.. when i reached home i actuali weighed them ah. 13 kg. i carried 13 freakin kilograms of books. if stil stupid then dunno wat to say alredi ah.



condolences to the family of Mr Harun Ghani.
Al- Fatehah.


Posted by theblackazure @ 11:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, August 2


today also no story. but here's a song for ur listening pleasure..




"Somebody Kill Me"- Adam Sandler

You don't know how much I need you.
While you're near me I don't feel blue.
And when we kiss I know you need me too.
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true.

But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddamn joke.
And when I think of you Linda,
I hope you f=)king choke.

I hope you're glad with what you've done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.

Oh somebody kill me please!
somebody kill me plee-ase!
I'm on my knees,pretty pretty please
Kill me!!!!!!!!
I want to die!!!!
Put a bullet in my headddd...


Posted by theblackazure @ 1:02:00 PM
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Monday, August 1


hey beautifuls!

today got no story ah.

so sad.

kla.. let me tell u a little secret instead..........

i can't find eye candy.

it's so disturbing! i have no reason to wake up and go to school. no reason to comb my hair. no reason to do sit ups.

i miss my nj bollywood hunks.


Posted by theblackazure @ 11:30:00 PM
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