hey! I'm back!

phew.. it's been a gruelling past few weeks with the prelims n all. sorry for leaving u guys in the lurch. SOOORRRYYY. i got back some of my papers. i got a C for both maths n econs but i got an E for my chem. now I'm kind of panicking coz i've never been good at chem.. even in secondary school. haven't gotten back full papers for bio n gp. hope i pass them. then it'll be like the 2nd time i passed all my subjects. haha. the first was during promos last year.

well.. the As are coming real soon. I'm having my 1st paper, bio prac, on 21st oct. but the theory papers don't start til 4th november. so.. I'm kind of worried.. but excited at the same time. i can't wait to get this whole episode over and done with. jc has not been like the funnest days of my life. but i think i grew a lot during these 2 years spent in nj. and I'm ready to take flight and get on with the next phase in my life.

i think i've mentioned before that i am really an old soul beneath all this 18 year old exterior. i mean, sometimes i sit down with my cats, listening to old blue eyes, thinking whether this is the right way to live my life. which is why sometimes i don't see the point in studying so hard. i see a bigger world. outside singapore, outside this comfort zone, and i see bigger opportunities, risks to be taken, undiscovered territories. yet, here i am still, sometimes mugging, sometimes wondering why ppl like to mug so much. i mean, is this what LEARNING is all about? or is it just a warped definition, given the intensity of the academic competition in our country?

for those who know me, or are close to me, u probably know that my biggest dream is to migrate to Maldives. maybe set up a media related business there, or work in the travel industry. this is my fantasy. i want to wake up next to my husband, and step out barefooted, to be greeted by the warm sand beneath my toes, and golden rays caressing my face. i want to go to sleep in the arms of my man, with the sound of waves as a lullaby. the yard would be a pristine beach, where my children would skin their knees and smile, because they know that some day, that scar would bring back a tide of good old memories.

my friends think I'm crazy. or if they feel like being polite, they'll say that I'm idealistic. but what if i could achieve this some day? what if this dream comes true? and how would i know whether the idea is feasible, if i don't take the necessary risks?

i love this line from john mayers' "no such thing":

they love to tell you
"Stay inside the line."
But something better's
on the other side.

But as for my short term dream, i just want my parents to see me at convocation. u can say that currently, that's why i want to go to uni. again, some ppl think that I'm nuts. but, this is for me. and that picture of 'me' includes my parents, my brother, ppl who love me n will always be proud of me.

it all begins with my A lvls cert. but just in case all fails, im not going to be devastated. probably disappointed for a little while, but i'll be fine. incidentally, i have other plans up my sleeves. like being an air stewardess. haha.. then i can be bimbotic and classy all at the same time.

anyways, i just want to thank all you guys for being SOOOOOOO SWEEEET to me. sometimes, i feel i don't deserve such good friends because im always so mean. but, im glad that my friends are good enough not to stay away from me because of that. i really really appreciate all your kind words and support and i wish all of u the best too!! til whenever i feel like blogging again, i bid u adieu. take care of ur health!