Sunday, May 30
yo... i hav to go to sleep soon. n i like very lazy to write tonight. bcoz very tired.haha. but then, once again, i'd like to thank all my luuuuuvly frens for all their gifts, well wishes.. etc etc. u guys rock! =]
anyways, today very tired lah.. so i'll leave u with this zodiac thing tt taufiq gave me once upon a time.(went out with him jus now.walao. he cudn stop talkling sia. haha. but he quite cute lah. as in adorable. n pls ah.. dun make up stories. i know u ppl too well.ahaks.) anyways, it's quite accurate lor.. haha.. gd pts, bad pts.. haha. quite scary oso.. quite funie oso. but its quite accurate lor. =j
A woman with brains, a very interesting person. She has a fast
movement and she could not sit still or stand still long. She is able to do
many things at the same time and do it fast. If you date her, you will feel
like dating many women at the same time. You cannot tie her down with the
word "Love" because she cares about love but is it not a major factor of her
life. You have to be able to adjust yourself to get along with her many
different characters.
She is a dreamer and has many dreams. She's eager to learn something new all
the time. Even if she is the 2 in 1 mixed character type, she is quite lucky in
love. You have to put all your efforts to win her affection. Even when she
likes you and wonder about your wit, she will also see and inspect your bad
side at the same time, because it is in her nature.
She is able to keep all kinds of mixed emotions without annoying you or letting
you know at all. She can cheer you up by acting like a free little bird. Her
conversations will not bore you. She's able to talk to you abt any subject.
She can make you feel like you are the luckiest man alive. She can make you
feel like she needs all your care, but once she needs to stand alone, she
can stand alone firmly and comfortably.
She can be your best buddy and talk to you about anything. She can join all
your activities with the same energy that you have. She is a quick witted
person and learn new things very fast. She can see your projects and she can
give you good advice. If she thinks you are not sure that you want her for
yourself, she will act like your best friend only, a cool woman.
She can easily make a guy fall in love with her. Her multiple changes and
many moods is a "Charm" for many men. She can be laughing for 2 minutes and
later suddenly quiet. She wants to find only 1 true love and she wants to
meet her dream guy. She expects a lot and nearly too much. She is constantly
waiting for her knight in shinning armor even when she is with a steady boy friend.
She can fall in love or be fond of someone else while she is with you. If you
break up with her, she will forget you quite fast, because change is in her
nature. The Gemini woman breaks more hearts than women in other Zodiac. Because she is a dreamer and always waiting for her knight in shinning armor, her love life can be complex or a mess.
She hates to write a long letter, so if you write her a letter and expect a
prompt reply, forget it. Because she has a multiple personality and multiple
ideas, she hates to put them down in written proof. Because she knows
what she believes today can be different tomorrow.
She can communicate in more than 1 language, a real gifted
linguist. If she wants to tell you any bad comments, she won't say it
straight away, but she will talk to you about many other things and
"accidentally" come to that subject without offending you. Normally she will
not lie.
She will work hard and once a while take a long rest. She can get bored and
tired with her own surroundings more than at work. She never feel content
with her present work, money, or reputation; she will drive to have more.
Don't ask her what is her ultimate contentment is, for she will not have an
answer.
Once you get to know her, she will be a supportive person and always be
beside you. She has a beautiful dream and she loves to have someone walk
side by side with her, together and equally.
Heh. interesting rite? haha.. n a lot of it is quite true lor. haha. emm.. except for "she is quite lucky in love". ;]
anyways, today very tired lah.. so i'll leave u with this zodiac thing tt taufiq gave me once upon a time.(went out with him jus now.walao. he cudn stop talkling sia. haha. but he quite cute lah. as in adorable. n pls ah.. dun make up stories. i know u ppl too well.ahaks.) anyways, it's quite accurate lor.. haha.. gd pts, bad pts.. haha. quite scary oso.. quite funie oso. but its quite accurate lor. =j
A woman with brains, a very interesting person. She has a fast
movement and she could not sit still or stand still long. She is able to do
many things at the same time and do it fast. If you date her, you will feel
like dating many women at the same time. You cannot tie her down with the
word "Love" because she cares about love but is it not a major factor of her
life. You have to be able to adjust yourself to get along with her many
different characters.
She is a dreamer and has many dreams. She's eager to learn something new all
the time. Even if she is the 2 in 1 mixed character type, she is quite lucky in
love. You have to put all your efforts to win her affection. Even when she
likes you and wonder about your wit, she will also see and inspect your bad
side at the same time, because it is in her nature.
She is able to keep all kinds of mixed emotions without annoying you or letting
you know at all. She can cheer you up by acting like a free little bird. Her
conversations will not bore you. She's able to talk to you abt any subject.
She can make you feel like you are the luckiest man alive. She can make you
feel like she needs all your care, but once she needs to stand alone, she
can stand alone firmly and comfortably.
She can be your best buddy and talk to you about anything. She can join all
your activities with the same energy that you have. She is a quick witted
person and learn new things very fast. She can see your projects and she can
give you good advice. If she thinks you are not sure that you want her for
yourself, she will act like your best friend only, a cool woman.
She can easily make a guy fall in love with her. Her multiple changes and
many moods is a "Charm" for many men. She can be laughing for 2 minutes and
later suddenly quiet. She wants to find only 1 true love and she wants to
meet her dream guy. She expects a lot and nearly too much. She is constantly
waiting for her knight in shinning armor even when she is with a steady boy friend.
She can fall in love or be fond of someone else while she is with you. If you
break up with her, she will forget you quite fast, because change is in her
nature. The Gemini woman breaks more hearts than women in other Zodiac. Because she is a dreamer and always waiting for her knight in shinning armor, her love life can be complex or a mess.
She hates to write a long letter, so if you write her a letter and expect a
prompt reply, forget it. Because she has a multiple personality and multiple
ideas, she hates to put them down in written proof. Because she knows
what she believes today can be different tomorrow.
She can communicate in more than 1 language, a real gifted
linguist. If she wants to tell you any bad comments, she won't say it
straight away, but she will talk to you about many other things and
"accidentally" come to that subject without offending you. Normally she will
not lie.
She will work hard and once a while take a long rest. She can get bored and
tired with her own surroundings more than at work. She never feel content
with her present work, money, or reputation; she will drive to have more.
Don't ask her what is her ultimate contentment is, for she will not have an
answer.
Once you get to know her, she will be a supportive person and always be
beside you. She has a beautiful dream and she loves to have someone walk
side by side with her, together and equally.
Heh. interesting rite? haha.. n a lot of it is quite true lor. haha. emm.. except for "she is quite lucky in love". ;]
part 2
ok ok.. time to continue my story. (last night i was pissed. more like sad-pissed. today im not! so observe the difference in tone).
hmmm.. where was i? oh.. god made other plans. yea. erm.. i remember it was the september holidays in sec 1.. then he called me... ok.. let's skip all those awkward moments ya.. anyways, even back then in sec 1, i was quite smart ah.. clever actuali.. no no.. more like... intellectual... ahaks.. yea rite!! i remember telling him once.. wudn it be weird if we suddenly became steady? (haha.. those kental days when we used to call it going steady.. ahaks! ridiculous!) anyways, we went from acquaintance to (say it with me now) "steady" straight away. haha. that was stupid mistake number 1. anyway, i guess because of my strong hold on my religion, i was pretty conservative. so to cut the long story short, talib and i never reali did the couple2 things like hold hands, lean on each other etc etc.. haha.. actuali it wasn reali about religion lah.. more like... my personal take on Public Display of Affection. u see, i think its totally redundant n an eye sore!!! anyways, i suspect rite.. talib figured that i was playing him.. because i refused to perform such lewd acts.. ahaks.. lewd.. n.. of course tt led to the whole deterioration of our, quote-unquote "relationshit" .
hmm.. we got together on 14/11/98... i tink.. or was it 19th? aaah.. cant remember.. i tink i wrote it in my diary (wat? A'in has a diary? yea yea....... tell anione n i'll open up a can of whoop-ass on u ;p)but then ah.. ok lah.. the point is, we broke up in feb. e next year. or was it march? uuhmm... nvm. i.... sorta dumped him... n i honestly forgot y... guess it was because i was irritated becoz he is very posessive. n i dun like ppl to hold on to me. reminds me of my mom. ya.. there was also that ego clash lah.. haha.. clash of the titans.
erm... i tink at that time, i realised that this was probably the one person who knew a lot about me. that's y after the big break up, i asked him to be my friend. stupid mistake number 2.
anyways, remember i told u tt i always thot he was quite a loner? u noe y? its because he kinda fell out with the other malay ppl in his batch. yea. my dear seniors. haha.. actuali, i tink it's becoz they hated his guts. ok.. i admit e girls were a little bitchy (minus raudhah.. who's reali nice), but i got a feeling tt some of the girls liked him. i wont mention names.. but.. i tink im rite. ok.. he didn hate them any less tho.. of course this reli didn matter.but the thing was, i was close to my seniors n it kinda affected my friendship with him.. u know.. its reali difficult to like like n hate someone at the same time.
we spent many awkward moments between my sec 2 til e end of my sec 3 year. of coz after tt he graduated. along with the rest of my seniors. all this while we were still chatting on the phone. my dad freaked at me once.. coz he thot i had a boyfriend.. err.. my dad a bit lagging hor.. haha.. tt was e one time i saw him so angry. but i tink he shud know tt im not those type of girls who go sleeping around with everybody. i think my dad didn realise tt til like.. when i went to jc. n when i started telling him how i wanted to be a player n break every guys' heart. revenge is sweet.. (wat revenge? heh. u haven't come to the end of the story yet)
anyhow, all this time talib was telling me about all these girls he was going out with. Everytime tt happens, he would call me up and go "Hello A'in! guess wat? i got a new girl!" how do u tink i felt? There was Marina, Nadia, err.. n.. got some more lah.. but forgot who.. heck. i even helped him to break up with Nadia. haha. tt was a funny conversation. tt poor nadia girl.
Somehow, i couldn help but feel that he was trying to make me feel jealous. y? i dunno.. but.. i wasnt jealous. i love him man.. i reali do.. but i know we were never going to work out. Too many hurtful words have been exchanged throughout the years.. we could never be the same. i knew he was trying to make me jealous. so wat did i do? made HIM jealous. stupid mistake number 3. i guess i was pretty good at it.. n somehow, he got bitter.. then he met fadhillah. the girl who like first kissed him or sthg? he told me abt it. how do u tink i felt? it was as if he was trying to rub it in my face.. like "hey take! see! who ask u to dump me?!" sigh.. seriously.. until now i still feel that he holds a special place in my heart. probably because of how much he affected my life. i was missing him the last few weeks.. it's been like a year since we saw each other. now dont get me wrong. i miss him like u miss ur close friend thing. i harbour no like.. "dat feeling" for him.. so wat i did was, i went to his blog. i tagged this on the taggie.
ain: slush. i remembered sthg today.
salvaged some of those... umm.. memories.
let's go out some time. talk til we drop.
slush was his nickname for me. i saw e word in e dictionary tt day n was suddenly reminded.hence the spontaneity of the post. anyway, he didn reply.. but his gf did. somehow, i tink she thot i was flirting with him.. err.. rite. look wat she wrote.. haha.. a bit funni ah..
nina: eh ain. what makes you think
he wants to see you huh? sooo thick
skinned. havent u heard? he hates indians.
part indians. whatever. all the same.
haha.. ok.. a bit ouch also.. it's so sad to see such a pretty lady use the type of language she does. ok.. i admit i do say my fair share of vulgarities sometimes.. but not all the time... sigh... wat a waste of beauty.. erm.. so yesterday night, i asked him if we shud stop being friends. i was tired of being his friend without him being mine. here's e conversation.
Session Start: Saturday, May 29, 2004
Participants:
| ...st mon ami.. il est mon amour... ] (black_azure@hotmail.com) |
| Ant|mArX (antimarx@hotmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[12:06:43 AM] Legally 18!!: yo
[12:06:51 AM] Ant|mArX: hi
[12:06:54 AM] Legally 18!!: shall we stop becoming frens?
[12:06:56 AM] Ant|mArX: happy birthday
[12:06:58 AM] Ant|mArX: its 29 now
[12:07:05 AM] Ant|mArX: im 4mins late.
[12:07:05 AM] Legally 18!!: erm
[12:07:14 AM] Legally 18!!: just ans my qn
[12:07:42 AM] Ant|mArX: probably.
[12:07:51 AM] Legally 18!!: u sure?
[12:07:55 AM] Legally 18!!: confirm?
[12:08:13 AM] Ant|mArX: i dunno la ok
[12:08:27 AM] Ant|mArX: fuck CANT U PPL JUST STOP APPLYIN PRESSURE
HERE FOR ONCE
[12:08:33 AM] Ant|mArX: sorry...
[12:08:43 AM] Legally 18!!: i asked qns
[12:08:44 AM] Ant|mArX: u, her, they, him..
[12:08:46 AM] Legally 18!!: reali
[12:08:50 AM] Legally 18!!: no pressure lah
[12:08:51 AM] Ant|mArX: fuck it
[12:08:58 AM] Ant|mArX: just leave the qn alone for now pls
[12:09:24 AM] Legally 18!!: IVE BEEN AVOIDING IT ALL THIS WHILE!!!!
[12:09:33 AM] Ant|mArX: then why now
[12:09:41 AM] Legally 18!!: now.. i jus want to settle it once n for
all
[12:09:44 AM] Ant|mArX: and u smsed me wrongly again just now
[12:09:52 AM] Legally 18!!: because its been 4 years
[12:09:53 AM] Ant|mArX: once and for all another time la ok?
[12:10:02 AM] Legally 18!!: no
[12:10:06 AM] Legally 18!!: its today
[12:10:09 AM] Legally 18!!: now
[12:10:13 AM] Legally 18!!: a yes or a no
[12:10:28 AM] Ant|mArX: u call that non pressure?
[12:10:29 AM] Ant|mArX: smart
[12:10:47 AM] Legally 18!!: i call that answering a simple question
[12:11:00 AM] Ant|mArX: its a simple qn alright
[12:11:07 AM] Ant|mArX: but look at what ur doing
[12:11:21 AM] Ant|mArX: u asking someone WHO TAKES U AS A FRIEND TO
WHETHER WANT TO CUT TIES OR NOT
[12:11:25 AM] Ant|mArX: u call that SIMPLE!?
[12:12:29 AM] Ant|mArX: i dun wanna make decisions out of
impulsiveness la ok
[12:12:31 AM] Ant|mArX: im not like u
[12:12:49 AM] Ant|mArX: i dont say "yes" out of impulsiveness cuz when
that happens, someone's bound get hurt
[12:13:09 AM] Ant|mArX: just like when u said "yes" when Naz told u
whether u want to be his friends gf or not 4yrs ago!
[12:14:35 AM] Legally 18!!: then wat u wan me to do? u know ive been
holding back doing "friendly" things with u like talk,
go out, be nice to each other etc etc becoz i dun wan
ppl to misunderstand wats going n get stupid ideas.. im
tired of being ur fren by title. if u hav to choose, im
sure u wont choose me.. so lets jus say it out loud once
n for all
[12:14:56 AM] Ant|mArX: bye then
[12:20:56 AM] Ant|mArX: anyway, just one final say.
[12:21:10 AM] * Legally 18!!!!!!! [il est mon ami.. il est mon
amour... ] is now Away (idle)
[12:21:21 AM] * Legally 18!!!!!!! [il est mon ami.. il est mon
amour... ] is now Online
[12:21:41 AM] Ant|mArX: i dun think u'd bother without me around. it
wun make any difference man. and besides, i dun think
uve ever felt anything more than an acquaintance does.
[12:21:59 AM] Ant|mArX: so just have a nice birthday ahead yeah...
[12:22:06 AM] Ant|mArX: be happy, its ur day.
[12:22:10 AM] Legally 18!!: because u nvr gave me a chance damn it!
[12:22:19 AM] Ant|mArX: i did.
[12:22:23 AM] Ant|mArX: u didnt take it.
[12:22:29 AM] Legally 18!!: ure just gonna blame it on me?
[12:22:35 AM] Legally 18!!: i dun tink so
[12:22:39 AM] Legally 18!!: wat?
[12:22:44 AM] Ant|mArX: im not blaming u..
[12:22:47 AM] Ant|mArX: alright.
[12:22:49 AM] Ant|mArX: its my fault.
[12:22:55 AM] Legally 18!!: yes
[12:23:03 AM] Ant|mArX: i didnt give u any chance
[12:23:12 AM] Ant|mArX: cuz probably i got sick of the way i was
treated.
[12:23:39 AM] Legally 18!!: are u saying tt i didn try?
[12:23:43 AM] Legally 18!!: hey
[12:23:53 AM] Legally 18!!: dun tell me i didn make e effort ok
[12:24:06 AM] Ant|mArX: u didnt.. not b4 u entered jc. nope. u didnt.
[12:24:19 AM] Legally 18!!: talib
[12:24:22 AM] Legally 18!!: ok
[12:24:29 AM] Legally 18!!: fine
[12:24:59 AM] Ant|mArX: i was pushed that far away. too much for me to
mend things.
[12:26:50 AM] * Ant|mArX has been blocked
so that's it. my entire episode. oh ya.. not yet.. i went to his blog again. here's wat i wrote.
ain: were u in a fit of anger or was
i? i guess tts it then. 4 yrs? or was it
5? nvm. doesn matter anymore.
ain: nina, ur a gd girl, ,n ur damn lucky.
dun need to get jealous. he's madly in
love with u.
and here's the reply i got. one which i did not ask for.
nina: jealous of who? you? puhleeze. you
can have him back if you want.
erm... no thanks.
haha... ok ok... so its been a sad ending to this soap opera. but it has ended. i took him off my handphone, msn, i took his linked off my blog. all tt's left to do now, is slowly erase those memories of him. yea. like eternal sunshine on the spotless mind.
ps: thanks to those ppl who wished me a happy birthday!!!!!! u know... as i grow older, i bagin to understand wat is meant by "it's the thought that counts". Coz there's nothing more special then e feeling u get when u know tt somewhere, somehow, ppl still remember u..
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u guys probably know tt i usuali dun talk abt my personal life too much. there's a whole lot goin on here tt u guys were probably unweary abt. i would be sorry, but i reali am not. i like it this way. i like u guys not knowing- sometimes.
But guess wat guys, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BOTTLING UP. im tired of resisting the urge to tell ppl wats reali going on inside. im tired from hiding from the fact that i am weak, tt i cannot fit everything in the palm of my hands. im tired of putting on those fake smiles n laughter to cover up all the hurt inside. im tired of lying to even my closest friens, but most of all, im tired of lying to myself. heck. im so good at lying to others tt i myself have started to believe in all those lies.
So it all comes out tonight. Every drop i can salvage from the depths of my memories. every lie ive made. tonight, they'll be no more.
Part 1
Flashback
i was involved in a production by the school drama club in sec 1. it was abt racial riots. there, i saw this was this guy i've been observing- he was different somehow.. quite a loner. During lunch time he wouldn be out with the other malay guys playing soccer and such, instead, he was always hanging out near the newspaper booth. sometimes reading, sometimes... just there. Even from the very first time i saw him i noticed his face. there was a mysterious dapth that lurked beneath. And a certain hint of darkness. He sulked. More like- frown. Yes, i remember now.. he looked sad.. like a perpetual frown on his face. It was intriguing.
Time went by and the production was going on smoothly. But something was not right. This guy, he seemed to smile at me like grinning from ear to ear everytime he saw me. What was dat all about? Wat? did i have "CLOWN" painted across my forehead? y was he always smiling at me? coz he likes me? haha... no way... gosh.. he's so good looking.. n i... well.. cant reali say the same abt myself. he likes me? rite. He somehow began to become close with this fren of mine. idayu. i thot they were getting it on. n y not? i mean.. shes pretty, n him.. i guess u can say physically desirable. yea. i reali tot they had it on. n i still remember how close they were. i still vividly remember once when he dropped ice down the collar of her shirt. now, it was impossible that they were getting it on. Intriguing, but at that time, i didn't tink too much about it. Afterall, it was all btw the two of them. boy, i was so wrong.
At the same time, i was still keeping contact with my old fren from primary school. my brudder. Nazry Zakaria. Just abt e sweetest fellow on earth. We talked a whole lot on the phone, nazry n i. n tt.. was when my (i tink i'd refer to it as a life-changing experience) started from. At that time, skating was in.. n all e guys came together n had their little gaherings under the void decks, showing off wat their K-grinds, 360 and such. I, could not possibly care any less. Now.. this next fact makes me less angry at this entire episode because wat im going to tell u next sort of proves that this was the work of god ( to turn me into a better person? i don't know? but i am quite sure that i would not be the person that i am today had this had not happened to me)
God made Nazry Zakaria and Abdul Mutalib meet. Because they happened to be skating at the same void deck. God.. had made plans for me n where i was headed waaaay before i found out. God kinda blindsided me. God rocks. Thank u god for all this hurt n pain. For making me go thru this internal turmoil. it has made me who i am today, that is, who i've always wanted to become.
Talib n Nazry somehow became good friends. N then, one fine day, Talib told Nazry abt this girl he had an eye for back in his school-Commonwealth Secondary. She went by the name of A'in. Nazry freaked. "A'in?! That's my lil' god sis!' Talib was glad that he had found a way to this uptight girl by the name of A'in.
And so, to cut the bloody long story short, Nazry called A'in on another of those fine days to tell her tt Talib likes her. And she was like "Talib? Talib who?" and nazry was like "oh. he's my skating buddy. he said he was involved in the racial harmony drama with u".. A'in: *thinks long and hard... then finally realises! aah! the smiley guy! kil 'est mignon! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT??????!!!!!!! he's interested in me? CAANOOT BEEEEE!!!! im so... so.... bleah.... unlike him. n besides, he's getting it on with idayu rite?
So this girl A'in went on with her mundane ol' life, thinking... man... that Nazry has some serious miscommunication problems man.. ermm.. of course.. she didnt realise that her problem (the unwillingness to trust) was far bigger.
But soon, everything began to change. The school canteen began to buzz n shush with news that that Talib-Idayu thing was just something for him to get to me. wait a minute. me? ME? waaaaaaaaaaaat? i have to ask yyyyyy.... again. (by the way, he told me once that it was because of love. well, if that was true, than i have prove that love fades. stay tuned to the end of this very long post)
erm.. then.. one fine day, erm.. he..erm.. asked A'in that question.. she considered saying yes lah.. because he was very intriguing.. n because of his undying efforts. then, disaster strikes- A'in finds out that Idayu had a heart for talib. Damn, she was right. They were getting it on.. or at least one party was.. A'in scruples went into overtime.. shud she... go on with him n break her friendship? or should she just give him up for someone who first got hold of him? decisions.. decisions.... then stupid decisions. A'in, the ooh-so-righteous one went to talk to talib. She told Talib," u know, Idayu likes u, n she's hurt tt u've sorta used her. U know.. this ting btw us wont work. So y don't u go with her instead." N then.. A'in (the NAIIVE one) thot.. ok.. now everything's clear n i can go back to e mundane ol' life tt i so love. But as aforementioned, god had other plans. Damn.
Talib went to confront idayu abt it. apparently, he was pissed that she was potonging his jalan. he sorta skrwd her with his words. the next day, idayu said this: great ain. now thanks to u i can't even face talib anymore!!
then she cried.. (-_-")
i guess she didn realise tt we were going to laugh abt this in a couple of years...
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ok guys.. so u've got some new pics ay.. ok ok.. the top pic is ripped off someone's blog.. ok ok.. so talib n reeza will probably know where i got it from... SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! dun tell him ok!!!!! pleeeeeassseeeee pwetty pwetty pleasee... (he knows i ripped it.. i told him.. but he doesn't know who i am.. n i don't want him to.. so do me the favour ya.. haha)
anyway, the picture on the right is ripped off my friend's frenster.. haha.. i'll be soooo dead if she finds out... but i tink it's soooo bloody nice!! she's so bloody talented!! haha.. (btw, tt's aisyah for those of u from CSS. remember her? she's so goth now.. kewl huh..)
ok.. excuse the french.. i tink its not accurate.. haha.. but nvm.. i'll get ranjay or maly to fix 'em.. haha.. i tink they'll be like absolutely horrified.. haha.. hey.. but it's self-taught ok.. haha
oh ya.. if u guys are feeling itchy, u can try pressing that green tingie at the top lefthand side of the page.. its this escape tingie.. haha.. i just put it there for fun lah.. haha..
ok.. if u guys got like other cool things which u tink can work on my blog.. tell me ya.. i'll be damn grateful.. haha.. ok.. im hungry.. can u imagine? i skipped lunch! whoa. dat's some serious shit. haha.. k ah.. im gonna go look out the window for 15 minutes now.. since i've continuously been on the pc for like 4 hours now.. woops.. til we meet again.. i bid u adieu..
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woO HOO! haha.. who wudve thot.. but hey..... i won't hide my insecurities with mean words n toughness.. ermm... more on the lines of acting happy n cheerful so ppl dont know... haha.. anyway, wats the use of spreading ur depression rite.. it's a lose-lose situation that one.. but, me in fight club? im not complaining... i luuuuvvvvv this movie.. especially the last scene..
TV show of the week: Nip/tuck. Two words- WATCH IT!!
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anyway, i feel very sports-ish today.. so im gonna talk abt sports? ait? or do u guys prefer sonia gandhi? no? i didn't think so... so sports it is...
ATHENS!!!!!! i can't wait!!! n tt's the problem.. no one else in the world can. Including athletes, spectators, photographers, travellers, supporters, citizens of greece, n most of all, the critics! come on athens! bring it on! we're ready!! but....err.... athens......are u ready for us? u know wat? I DON'T THINK SOOOOO...
ya.. i tink the authorities are beginning to FREAK OUT coz the sporting venues are only like 70% complete.. n its a FREAKIN 3 months away!!!!alrite alrite... breathe.... haha
but u noe, no matter wat, im glad for athens... im glad for greece.. n im glad for the greeks.. this is the best opportunity for them to showcase their beautiful country.. if they don't blow it dat is....... =] besides, it'll be a gr8 boost for their economy.. n social welfare too.. the government has pumped in billions upon billions of dollars not only in the construction of the stadiums n such, but also in improving the transport infrastructure. woohoo!! n i think its gonna do wonders for their employment level.. i mean, just look at Sydney.. the 2000 olympics created like 100,000 full-time jobs.. n contributed abt 80 billion dollars in revenue.. woohoo! n it marked Sydney as one of the top travel destinations too!! woohoo!!
its gonna be a historic event, this one, n i can't wait.. haha.. oooohh.. n imagine Beijing in 2008.. now.. tt's gonna go down in history too..
u know guys... when i said holdin it in for 10 minutes wouldn be a problem, i lied.
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Tale of a weed
And he said..
She is like the dandelion
With a difference
Going with the winds
But never without resistance
My... She thought he could see right through her
For what he said
Was as if reading her soul
A perfect interpretation
Or so she thought.
For perfect.. isn't the word for anything
And so she walked through a portal
On the path of soul searching
Never had she seen such a cold, barren place
Deserted.
The black azure of her soul.
The absence of hope.
In its place, an abyss
An infinity of darkness
Thinking but not feeling
The inefficacy of her senses
Guilt
Emotions.
Hollow
Morbid
Almost dead.
A soulless soul.
Maybe she is the dandelion
Floating around aimless, lifeless..
One of many, just the same..
Hoping to land on fertile soil
Summoning strength to grow through the harsh, painful realities
If she's lucky.
But alas, only to be blown away in a gust of wind
The winds of change
And so it whispered in her ears and took her far far away
Taking advantage of the weakness in her...
She slowly fades into the background.
Friends,for only wilted roses are kept.
And a dandelion is worth nothing at the end of the day...
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haha.. Today is the 3rd of may. Talib's birthday. N guess wat? I forgoooootttt!!!!! aaaahhhhh!!!! muahahahaha.. poor boy sia.. i feel soooo bad.... i know he's gonna read this .. so... "Happy birthday to u! Happy birthday to u! Happy birthday to dear Mr Talib-an!! Happy birthday to u!!!" n muackz.. here's wat i owe u.. muahaha.. anw, to those who dun noe.. talib is my ex fm secondary sch. We still keep in contact (i hav no idea why.. we cant stand each other.. haha) no hard feelings but he always make me feel guilty abt treating him badly last time.. haha.. but that's jus me lah.. Sardonic.. haha.. Anw, i ran in e sports day 4x400 heats today.. haha.. crappy sia.. in the first place, i didn even noe the event was today ah.. haha.. then had to borrow huiling's tshirt. then was wearing my velcro shoes. (which is the most suckiest running shoes adidas had ever created.. i mean in the aesthetic sense its quite nice ah.. but it jus sucks as a running shoe)N i didn bring my trackpants so i had to wear the RED nj shorts. yea. babboon ass. haha.. as predicted, we lost! muahaha.. but its ok coz we knew we were competing against ppl fm sports cca n none of us (fm my team was a sports person). But still, im so happy n proud of the girls coz they were like very spirited.. haha.. i was so distracted while i was running coz they kept cheering.. Honestly, i felt like bursting into laughter.. muahahaa.. but overall, it was a gd day lah.. oh ya.. before tt i was chatting with joyce n i was venting out all my frustrations abt being single to her.. haha.. she was such a gd listener.. she listened with her heart n gave me consolation, advice n her yoda-ish words of wisdom. she understands me man.. ;)
Yesterday we had dance in the morning.. haha.. as usual, wwe were up to our antics n gags.. hahahahah.. (3D LAMER). then after dance, i decided to go to the taman jurong mac's to mug. haha.. reeza came along later n we had a gd time.. hahah.. the highlight of the day was probably Hanif's msg to me.. It said "sterility is inheritable--the guardian, 1985". Then i was like.. "huh?why send me this msg all of a sudden?" then i showed reeza the msg n we were both like "huh?" haha. then guess wat? Hanif msged me back "STERILITY is inheritable". Tt was the final straw.. i asked him to call reez (free incoming). the conversation went sthg like this:
me : Hanif! wat?! i dun understand *giggle2.. tinking, "this guy is mad..."*
hanif : U don't get it??
me : Huh? wat? i dun get it.....
hanif : ok ok.. wat is the meaning of sterility?
me : Huh? *tinking, "is this a trick qn?"*
hanif : ok... sterility means the inablility to conceive n o produce children right...
me : err... ya... so?
hanif : so if u cant have children then how.. (At this point of time, i laughed out so
loud that evryone in mac's turned around n look at me... muahahahha... funniest "joke" ive heard in ages sia.. n hanif can actually pick up the irony in that statement jus by reading it lor... man.. his little head rocks!!) muahahahhaha.. there were other funny incidences like the chilli sauce also.. haha.. anw, this was wat i ate.
0650 Fuji apple
10++ 2 sardine currypuffs
1 slice banana walnut cake
8 grapes
1 rempeyek (the mly cracker with the peanuts on it)
1330 1 chicken fillet sandwhich
1 large fries
1 large lemonlime juice
1700 1 filet-o-fish
1 medium fries
2030 1 plate mee hoon goreng (with the works, fried speciali by my dearest daddy for me)
2200 cookies
haha.. i wish i cud eat like this everiday. aah.. i gtg... i tink i wrote too much crap liao... ok... next time i shall tell u bt my sunday with taufiq n also share a poem i found in my last year notebook. til then, adios!
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