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Tuesday, June 29


hey.. im in the midst of my exams.. ok ok.. probably not. more in the lines of.. in the 4/5th mark. only one paper left.. chemistry.. urgh. but hey, it's not so bad. it cant be as bad. virtually impossible. Besides, my 4 previous papers were complete asses. or rather, made me feel like one.

first paper, as always, was bio. damn. i practically spent the whole of my last week of hols(which by the way, was reduced to one week) mugging my bio. mugging. M-U-G-G-I-N-G. and FYI, a'in and mugging don't go.. it's just unnatural.

next, GP. a complete disaster. but at least, for the first time, i managed to complete my entire essay. but did i fail to mention that that was because i didn't have much to write. i did know what to write, just didn't feel like writing. woohoo. nice excuse. and btw, i forgot the question.

i had maths and econs paper today. 6 and a half solid hours of writing. well.. make that about 4 hours.. the other two and a half hours was spent thinking, drifting into lalaland, looking at other people feverishly writing around me, and thinking, "oh shit oh shit oh my shit. im dead. D-E-D. dead."

ok. nuff said. we'll see the catastrophe later. i'll probably post my results and completely expose my weakness, namely, my stupidity.


Posted by theblackazure @ 9:19:00 PM
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Wednesday, June 23



voila, i present to you, lunch!!! beef stew soup with rice.. right from the kitchen of (u guessed it) yours truly!!!! wait for my chocolate chip cookies coming to you next week.. haha.. or not..
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 4:02:00 PM
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my work station... i hav the power of making everyday look dark and gloomy.. yea baby..
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 4:00:00 PM
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my sassy girl..
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 3:58:00 PM
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ma boi... he looks totally wasted.. ahaks..
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 3:58:00 PM
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everybody now.. "awwwwww......"
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 3:56:00 PM
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sexy suggestive picture..
Posted by Hello


Posted by theblackazure @ 3:55:00 PM
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Tuesday, June 22


im still sick.. n it sucks. but i had half a tub of marigold neapolitan ice-cream yesterday.. nuf said, i'm never going to recover.

i went for a funeral yesterday.. got myself thinking..

we were there to pay our last respects to my dad's brother's wife's father.. he was a strong man.. he had succumbed to various diseases before only to fight it and recover, time and again.

last week, my cousin got engaged (cousin meaning, my dad's brother's daughter). the old man was there.. i watched him for quite a while, in awe, how healthy he seemed. i was video-woman for the day.. n for some odd and unexplainable reason, i felt an urge to shoot the old man.. so i did. i zoomed in on him while he was eating.. i think he didn't notice.

i watched the tape a few times this morning.. unable to accept the fact that he's gone.. i'm not close to him.. n never was. but i felt the lost.. maybe because i saw him looking all healthy, strong and alright just last week. it felt... surreal, looking at his motionless body yesterday. then i realised that i was standing right next to the spot where he was eating last week.

the atmosphere in my uncle's house was a stark contrast to last week's engagement. tears instead of smiles, sobs instead of laughter, regret in place of joy.

regret. that's the one thing i do not want in my life. it hit me then how important it was to cherish my family and my grandad. i guess in the case of my grandad.. i've mentally braced myself.. i mean.. he's not getting any younger.. as for my family.. i just pray that i have no regrets.. if they were to leave before me.. or otherwise. as for my friends.. i guess they know that i cherish them and im overjoyed to have them in my life.

as i offer a little prayer for the old man, to light up his place in the warm soil, i hope u join me. Al-Fateha.


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:43:00 PM
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Wednesday, June 16


hey darlings.. sorry for being MIA for the past few days.. and thanks for your concern.. i was pretty busy during the weekends, then i fell sick.. so.. wasn't really in the mood to blog.. i think the intensive dance training last week took quite a toll on us.. our immunity level went for a stroll downhill.. and as a result, a lot of us have been suffering from various diseases.. it sucks.. reeza had an exceptionally bad fever.. scary. apart from that, there was also the age old problem of not having started to study.. yea.. and the perpetual blistering heat doesn't help motivate me in any way. sigh.. but let's just forget about the blues and try to surround ourselves with positive karma ya.. *everybody now-- "ommmmm.."*

anyways, for your eyes only, i've decided to present you with a pictoral post depicting my day out with the NJC Malay dancers on saturday. sadly, i couldn't upload the pics.. haha.. sorry.. though there were only 8 of us, the seniors and the siamese gays, we were quite the brady bunch.. haha.. we were the oldest ones in our holding room.. though we didn't quite act our age.. oh well.. what's new..

we first start of with the make-up.. btw, did i mention that the make up was done by GUYS.. i swear........ and no!!! they are soooo not gay.... i couldn't believe it myself.. but these guys... are darn good..maybe one disappointment was that their hands smelt(is there such a word?) of cigarettes.. MAJOR TURNOFF.

they even did our hair!!! and it was sooo nice!!! damn.. if only my brother was that useful..

ok.. then cikgu thought that we looked too pretty.. so since the dance was contemporary and those scary scary type, he asked the guys to use face paint and effectively destroyed our pretty pretty make up.

ok.. so we got to cairnhill cc at about 11am.. our make up was fully done by 1 o'clock and the contemporary dance competition didn't start til 4.15pm.. so, there was nothing much to do but wait.. and.. well.. i'll let the pictures do the talking..

.: PiCs :.

as u probably saw.. we were damn bored..

anyway, we danced. it was quite bad.. a lot of mistakes.. but hey, we did, in 4 days, what ohers took 4 months to do. we got like 3 prizes (to the dissatisfaction of many), including the 1st runner up for contemporary, best choreography and most promising dance group. yea.. there was a whole lot of dissatisfaction.. especially amongst the secondary school kiddos.. well.. what can i say.. except.. GROW UP.

we went to visit the urban capsule at night in our glorious hair and makeup.. haha.. then they played malay dance music.. and asked minli to dance.. haha.. so we did a free show.. haha..... PAIIISEEEEHHHH.... ;]

then we went to eat at sakura... yes.. still with full hair and makeup.. then marco sent me to the bus stand at the interchange... awwww.. sho shweet...

ps: he's just a friend..


Posted by theblackazure @ 1:00:00 PM
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Friday, June 11


Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
I was walkin' through the crowd and gues who I met
I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof"
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, "How do you like the show?"
she said, "I was very amused"
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up
A relationship or some understanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I ccalled her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her on my dime, picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't ever gimme that
Jus' bust this

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
To see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day, I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year
I went to a gate to ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor's form
He told me where it was and I as on my way
To see my baby doll, I was happy to say
I arrrived in front of the dormitory
Yo, could you tell me where is door three?
They showed me where it was for the moment
I didn't know I was in for such an event
So I came to her room and opened the door
Oh, snap! Guess what I saw?
A fella tongue-kissin' my girl in the mouth,
I was so in shock my heart went down south
So please listen to the message that I say
Don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend

ok ppl.. i jus want to assure u tt i don't have any friends. muahahaha.. dont u guys juz love this song? heh. i tink its damn cute lah.. haha.. making light of a very heavy episode.. talking about making light, 8 of us are off for a dance competition tmr afternoon and guess wat? the dance is onli halfway thru!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.. how???????? ok ok.. maybe cikgu osman will choreograph the rest of the song by today..!!!!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.. i dunno abt the rest of them but im in it to win it.. ok ok.. relax.. breathe.. *inhale... exhale* ok.. oh ya, btw, the competition is at cairnhill cc.. altho i doubt any of u guys wud be intrested.. haha.. come on ppl.. its e s'pore arts fest. for gdness sake!!


Posted by theblackazure @ 10:50:00 AM
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Tuesday, June 8


elo loves! apa khabar? baik? haha.. Sorry for like not bloggin for a while.. been a teetsy busy wif.. err.. stuff.. ;)

saturday, 05/06:
wat i intended to do-- go for bio lecture in the morning, go for bahas in the afternoon and go for gentarasa in the evening.
wat i really did-- went for bio lecture in the morning, slack at home in the afternoon and went for gentarasa in the evening.
comments-- haha.. didn want to go for bahas coz it was so far away! it was held at eunos CC (that's somewhere in bedok by the way) and i was so bummed after bio lec that i didn feel like going. Gentarasa.. was.. sigh.. a bit of a disappointment. Afterall, it was the product of three big names in the Malay performance arts scene, with Iskandar Mirza Ismail, Nadiputra and Som Said. But.. it was kinda dismal. well.. more than anything, it was a bit too confusing, in every sense of the word. Well, the entire performance centered around mothers and motherhood, with inserts of the classic Malay tale of "Si Tanggang". But elements such as politics were also inserted. Visual images of the 1964 racial riots, past and present leaders as well as other weird pictures like that of Al-Iman kindergarten kids. Ok, I gotta admit that it made me think.. even long after the show was over.. but, at the same time, i was still confused!! on the surface, the whole thing was rather draggy.. and the lighting was quite bad. it was too red.. and many a times, i had to squint tto see what's going on. sigh. it was as bad as the mldds ppp play last year.. haha.. (shall share this with u guys some day). IOW it was quite amateur-ish. overall, it's such a pity that these people chose to make the performance a rather heavy, dogmatic one.. is this wat happens when we give local talents creative space? i wonder..

sunday, 06/06:
wat i intended to do-- pia maths
wat i really did-- slept till 11 am, slacked tile 3pm, watched Mona Lisa smile (downloaded version), slacked some more, watched Harry potter part 1, watched practical magic, slept tile Monday.
comments-- umm.. uh oh?

monday, 07/06:
wat i intended to do-- pia maths then go paint mural.
wat i really did-- slacked in the morning, went to jurong fsc in the afternoon. thot i was going to paint the bloody mural, but as it turns out, we were only in the planning stage, and there are only 4 of us and the bloody thing is like at least 50-80 m long. (-_-")
comments-- OK PEEPS. LISTEN UP. WE NEED HELP IN PAINTING A MURAL OUTSIDE THE JURONG FAMILY SERVICE CENTRE. ITS AN ORGANISATION UNDER MENDAKI BUT ALL ARE WELCOMED.. CAN GET CIP HOURS, BUT ABOVE ALL, CAN DERIVE PERSONAL SATISFACTION AND PRIDE IN ONE'S CONSCIENCE. heh.. rite..

tuesday, 08/06:
wat i intended to do-- pia maths, then go for dance at 2 plus.
wat i really did-- woke up at 8.30am, realised that luqman msged me e night before to tell me that dance is at 10am. oh shit. went to shower then rush rush rush.. still ended up late.. then, went to adams with miss khoo after that. the miss soto stall was closed, so ate nasi lemak. then accompany minli go mini toons at suntec. mainly coz i wanted to see the urban capsule at raffles city.. haha.. communicated with one of the guys inside.. he was interested to know abt malay dance, so i taught him.. well.. sort of, at least.
comments-- go catch the urban capsule! its damn cool! i would do it if i was a guy.. but i'm not.. so.. haha.. it's the thought that counts.. anyways, just want to give a shout out to layz.. thankz gurl!!!!! ;y


Posted by theblackazure @ 8:38:00 PM
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Friday, June 4


"Saw an old lock secured round
an old gate yesterday. Behind stood
an old house on a piece of neglected land.
I wondered why the land was left to idle and rot.
It could have been better used. Then i noticed
the warning signs outside the gate."

this was not written by me. But somehow, after reading this, i was suddenly reminded of the pictures of that guy, that bastard, that concert pianist, that fucking paedophile. im sorry for the crudeness of my language, but even more than that, im sorry that such people exist. and im so so sorry that i can never seem to understand why. Why god? why did u have to create such monsters? and why god, after creating such monsters did you create people blind enough, to treat this like a trivial matter. Why give them life, something precious to share, only to find out that they've turned into selfish, conniving politicians? Why are people left without feelings? without compassion? did u forget that essential ingredient? Instead, now all these ppl do is istighfar. Is that ALL we can do? and why god? why did you present the wonderful gift of a child to fucking irresponsible parents who would just kill them, sooner or later. Abortion- outright murder, but sending children! children for goodness sake!! sending children to brothels as sex slaves for those beasts to gnaw on- murder of the soul. why didnt those gifts be presented to the man and woman who have longed and tried and tried again for someone to call "my daughter", "my son".
why god? why make mothers so weak that they would sell themselves, their children for money? why create people who accept these EXCUSES. they are just that. y make women so desirable and y make beasts with such unquenchable thirst?

"is your wicked tongue an accessory
or essential? I ponder this endlessly over and
over. Do you lick up my pain like a
scavenger sadist, savouring every last
morsel till i'm nothing but bone? Or do u take
quick sips at your thirsts' convenience,
like a selfish lover feigning generosity?"

i asked you why god, for i have no answer. but i know u have no answer to. For u have created us all with the same weapon, that is, conscience. hence my apologies for this sudden outburst.


Posted by theblackazure @ 3:35:00 AM
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Thursday, June 3


elo my pint-sized luvies!! howeth art thou? =D haha.. okie.. i wassa meeddlin wif me template stuffies again jus now.. woot2.. spposd to like go to this like bahas (debate) tingie to babysit me j1s.. but i tink they like cancelled it or sthg like.. *hiccup*. woopsie... me a teetsy weetsy tippy now... aaaah.... sugar overdoese... chooooocoooolaaaatteee... me want moooreee.... *hiccup*.
neways, me spposd to be muggin for me chem prac tmr! uh oh! full paper.. *hiccup*.. 2 n a half hours aye... yawnz.. how on earth can me stand up for 2 n a half hours straight... (-_-").. but then again.. u dun hav to be standin up all e time for chemistree practical... *hiccups*.
alrity... i admit... im drunk*hiccup*.. drunk with love *hiccup* *hiccup*. ahahahahhahahahahahaha.. lookie... i lied.........
waiitttt.. not done yet.. me was actuali lookin for music codies for a paaaarticular suzanne vega song but thisssss iss alll i goooooott. *faints*.

ps: screw bush.


Posted by theblackazure @ 4:33:00 PM
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