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Thursday, March 22


teaching pre-pubescent kids abt sexual reproduction is fun. =)

refer to primary 5 science syllabus, chapter 3.

there's this kid in class, his name is weitat. super cute lil thing, just over half my size, tiny, crew cut, face like hamtaro.

i like to tease him ah. bcoz he's just sooo sooo darn cute. so i'll sometimes just scream "Ong Wei Tat!"

and he goes "Um?" *shrek 2 puss in boots pitiful face*

Me: What type of reproductive cell do males produce?
Him: Sperm.
Me: Good. And in human beings, where are sperm cells produced?
Him: *Thinks* (Says softly) Ummm.. Penis.

haha.

priceless..


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:03:00 AM
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Wednesday, March 14


Art, like wine needs time to age. and boy, has this taken a while. I present,

The Philophobic's guide to landing a guy

Part II

in part 1, i've given u my thoughts on the general male population. Further suggested by my helpful readers are hybrids or cross-variations between the categories. They are not exhaustive, though. U, my friends, will have to do some work, to really observe ur "target", to find out his likes and dislikes, so tt at the very least, u cud carry a decent conversation with him.

this next chapter will be dedicated to the so-called "rules of engagement", tt is, how to take the first step to engage ur audience. think of yourself as a moving advertisement. and in any type of promotional activity, u must first capture ur target audiences' attention.

In pursuant to pursuing a guy, let us adhere to the famous axioms as follows.

Lex I: Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.

Sounds familiar? For those of you whose latin are not quite up to scratch, i offer the following translation - Law 1: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force . An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external and unbalanced force.

U see, Newton was a genius in more ways than one. not only could his laws be applied into physics, it could also be applied in the realm of love. Consider the following interpetration.

Philophobic Law 1: Two people who are strangers will remain strangers unless acted upon by an external (or sometimes internal) force. Two people who are "just" friends will remain "just" friends unless someone acts upon it.

For the slower learners(tts u hun), this just means that if u have a crush on a guy but tt guy doesnt know u exist, the guy is not gonna know u exist until u appear in front of him and *snap snap* makes sure he notices u, or unless u get a friend to mutually introduce u. For example, there's this person(s) [im guessing its a girl(s)] who keeps googling "harun nus cute" and landing on my blog. Well, i have no idea who this googler is, and i also have no idea who "harun nus cute" is. but, i applaud the initiative taken by the person(s) to find dirt on the guy. but anyhoo, one suggestion please.. do land on the right blog the next time yea? n leave a msg for him on the tagboard. take the first step!


Lex II: Mutationem motus proportionalem esse vi motrici impressae, et fieri secundum lineam rectam qua vis illa imprimitur.

This is the second law which says that: The rate of change of momentum of a body is proportional to the resultant force acting on the body and is in the same direction. In the world of Philophobics, it can be interpreted in the following way:

Philophobic Law 2: The rate the friendship moves at is in relation to the amount of work done to keep it going.

What this means, my frens, is that the amount of effort that u put in into building the relationship will reap returns in what may not be exactly proportional, but at least close. U reap what u sow, my frens (just like Newton, most of them ol' english folks are pretty smart too.) so, im guessing that making the effort to impress ur target audience is key. for example, if ur target happens to be a mechanical engineering major, use physics rules and laws to impress him and leave a smile on his face. *coughlikemecough* i find that guys are particularly impressed by athletic abilities as well as wit and taste. but if u got big boobs, i guess tt would count towards something too. so, u know, again, to each her own. dig deep and find a unique attribute (or a set of unique attributes) that u can sell. if u got it, flaunt it girl fren!


Lex III: Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi.

Newton's third law is I think, the most popular one. It is commonly paraphrased as "To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction".

CS 100 taught me that the way you communicate to another person will be reciprocated and ur actions mimicked closely by those interested in you. so, say if u stand in a defensive position (arms folded across chest), this non-verbal communication will be picked up and the person will also react to u in a defensive way. so i guess my point is, u should talk to the person like how u wan tt person to talk to u. if u start "KAU-AKUing" with the person, he would do the same and from there, its kinda difficult to like.. change? i learnt tt one way to show interest in the person is by leaning in towards the person when he or she speaks and to respond to him by like nodding, or agreeing or paraphrasing. i know tt wat counts most is ur sincerity to get to know this person.. but if he or she doesnt know u well in the first place, they are going to look extra carefully for such signs when u talk to them. so be extra conscious but dont look silly doing it!


ok. so tts it. we've gone thru the basic tenets of philophobic's guide to landing a guy.

just one more thing.. very important.. no matter how dumb their jokes are, do laugh. it makes them feel better. remember, there are 3 parts to a male of the species - the guy, his ego and his appendages.

in the next chapter, we will learn about fishing - hook, bait and sinker. so do stay tuned. (tho it might be a while)

=*


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:19:00 AM
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Thursday, March 1


Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with...

"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down.The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 .He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1."

hoho.


Posted by theblackazure @ 12:50:00 AM
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