im gonna be legal on paper. (and im starting to wonder if i shud reali celebrate)
scary ah. i dont want to grow up seh.
susah tau jadi adult. nak kena kerja, jaga mak bapak, cari "the one", kahwin, beli rumah, beranak. if i want to take an MBA, whose gonna sponsor seh? kalau bapak taukey golden chance takpe jugak.. kalau bf anak raja ok jugak.. hee2.. (but i doubt i'll b as happy)
actuali i can see the year ahead passing by very quickly.
jan is the time of writing and submitting the jbp project (submission date 13 jan), of buying books and adjusting to the new tutors at sch, the new timetable, new lappie, the new students at tuition centre, and mum's bday on the 24th (nak belikan wallet bonia.. its the makciks fav "luxury" brand)
feb.. the time where we will realise tt we have been neglecting our studies and partying too much.. and where we will try to catch up with work during the one week break.. the time where i would like to finally, start with my class 3 license (which has seen its fair share of rain-checks). also the month of valentines', where other couples will be busying themselves buying (marked-up price) gifts. we shall spare ourselves tt agony.. kiter tak celebrate valentines la beb..
march.. one word: anniversary. this one we will celebrate =] coming to the close of the term.. foresee week 9 to 11 as being hectic crazy. proj deadlines, assignments, presentations.. (u know the drill)
apr.. exams. haha. seriously. it IS that soon. and we will probably start the campaign for pulling in students to the school. also the time to bring forward all the tuition lessons from may. preparing the kids for mid yr exams.. i imagine a squishy timetable..
beginning may.. start of internship.. (SCAREHHHHH)
end may.. turning the big TWO-ONE
june.. internship
early july.. end of internship..
end july.. 24/7 & 27/7 as important dates. early2 korang da book. hee2. must remember to start saving for someone's chocolate buffet. also the culmination of "promote ntu campaign". haha. actuali looking forward to doing ambassador stuff under prof geraldine.
august.. start skola lagi.. YEAR 3!! final year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sept.. ramadhan.. prolly joining the Shell competition wif members ku, syaz
oct.. raya puasa.. prolly be away at kota kinabalu for the competition. good.. dun hav to face the pretentiousness of raya.
nov.. exams.. again..
dec.. this is where i realise i only have 4 more months to complete my fyp and graduate. SERAM beb. i foresee a lot of frustration and nak terkencitness. end of december i'll be doing wat im doing now.. which is speculating wat i cud be doing the next year. and the realisation tt i wud have to leave the peaceful (relatively unpolitical) singapore education system and plunge, head first into corporate life. THINKING OF IT MAKES ME NERVOUS AS HELL.
i am not afraid to admit it.
i dont want to grow up.
DISCLAIMER: i do realise this is an idealistic and super naiive projection la.. kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan.. kan?
we went to a play by teater kami entitled 'Pulau Tekong: From Saladin to Ayer Samak'.
Its basically a play about the "supernatural" things tt our boys seem to come across during their time at tekong. the setting of the play is a topography.. umm.. thing.. tt our boys have to go thru during ns. basically, they are dropped in the middle of nowhere, given maps and compasses and have to make their way to 12 checkpoints in 3 days in the jungle. the main players are 2 soldiers, one overzealous, gungho one, and the other, a guy with a third eye. along the way, this third eye guy keeps coming across this girl, an "orang bunian" (ppl in another dimension) who sorts of leads them to all the checkpoints. at the end, the guy accidentally "shoots" the girl's bf with his blank rounds, and said to the girl tt he would bear responsibility. so the girl.. umm.. "takes him into her realm".. and he dies..
i guess the writer (who was also one of the players) tried to be helpful by inserting some religious elements into the play. although, at times, i found it kinda annoying in a dogmatic sorta way. especiali when they did not prepare a place for prayers altho the play was slated to start at 8 pm. so, basically, i did not know what to think la.. although, i would not want to judge in such circumstances. i belief it would be unfair to do so.
in terms of acting, i could say that subtle can be vivid sometimes. but, coming from some one who cant act for nuts, they did a good job. my favourite part was when the overzealous guy said tt ghosts were not real, tekong is reali very boring and the boys just make up the stories to impress their mums and girlfriends.
"U, hari tu kat Tekong I nampak hantu..."
"I terus kejar dia, tembak pakai blanks"
"Kan macam mana punya hero la!"
haha.
i wondered if its true. them just making up stories to impress. i mean, it is very plausible.
on the turn out, i was pleasantly surprised to say the least. there were about 50ish ppl there despite it being staged at cairnhill arts centre which is reali kinda out of the way and pretty dingy, to be honest. i also learnt tt they had a matinee show earlier, and i think the turn out must have been around those numbers too. to me, it kinda shows that hey, there are quite a number of ppl who are interested in the arts and ready and raring to support our local artists, ESPECIALLY if the work is something people can relate to.
im not an artist, so i wouldnt know. but from my experience of being around arty farty ppl, there are usually quite weird. as in, the way they think and the way they see things is normally very different from us 'normal' ppl. and of course, as an artist, i would expect them to have a heightened aesthetical "sense".
but wat im getting at is tt, artists reali shudn feel forsaken (or maligned) and deliberately set themselves apart from the society ( which is wat i feel some artists are always subconsciously trying to do). if they reali want to share the joys, thoughts and feelings of their art, then they must find a way to do it in a way that can touch and reach the audience easily.
in terms of financial support, i can see why local artists find it difficult to make a livelihood. we paid $12 for each ticket and i guess for this play they could probably make about $1000? (altho this is a terribly optimistic figure) takeaway their rent for the space, A/C and stuff and split it among 5 players. they wont reali get much. and its not like each of them can churn out a new play every week.. these things require a LOT of commitment in terms of TIME, SKILL and EFFORT to even present something that is halfway decent. so, there should be some empathy in terms of their financial plight.
that said, i do have some friends in the arts circuit who are supporting a very comfortable lifestyle, doing the things they love. for example, being a drama coach or choreographer for schools and stuff. i guess, just like any other person, hard work and diligence pay off. so, seen from this angle, it might be difficult to say that artists are poor (coz tts wat they all say).
and another thing, i believe we shud stop comparing our society and local audiences to audiences in Europe who are already well-versed and have sophisticated appreciation for the arts. i see that our society is slowly but surely becoming more and more receptive to the arts. the challenge here for our artists is to pacify audiences, give us more relevence and help us understand and appreciate the finer strokes of art.
so there. my sentiments for tonight.
and as for the play, mek gives 3.5 out of 5 stars.
an idealistic, simplistic and almost impossible virtue to live by.
why?
because we are so caught up with telling ppl the "right thing to do".
because telling ppl the right thing to do validates us. it makes our actions more correct. more justified. or even if we are making the same mistakes, it demonstrates that at least we know "what's right".
it just makes us feel better.
i've tried to live by this dictum.
but again, i found it almost impossible.
why?
because i wish to have a say in everything said or done around me. if i truly were to live upon this virtue, i would not want to encroach on thoughts and opinions of others. ur opinion is urs, mine is mine.
but i succumb to parker's temptation. no, not peter parker.. nosy parker. i believe the colloquial term for this phenomenon is "kaypoh". i cant help but want a say abt someone.. or how someone does something.
like blogging.. in theory i understand the notion of to each his own. evryone is entitled to their own opinions on their own turf. but i cant help but cringe at the sort of things written. Wittingly inviting controversy. at first i thought of it as random, desultory and mostly feeble, pathetic attempts at publicity. but to think of it, it may in fact stem from a very basic physiological need. the need for security.
we want to be validated by others. and patronage, backing and support might just do it.
conversely, we want opposition. divergence of thoughts. we want separation from the rest so that we feel unique. Maslow's self actualization perhaps.
this tool of blogging is powerful. u can carve a sort of superlative image over others. mostly (and sadly) by conforming to the archetype bloggers. at least tt has been my observation thus far. i believe it gives a just portrayal of life itself, applying it to a broader scope.
thinking about it just motivates me to know myself and be myself. i want to be someone who doesnt need corroboration.
"so the good boys and girls take the so-called right track,
faded white hats..
grabbing credits and maybe transfers..
they read all the books but they can't find the answers"
I eat children for breakfast, I like my boys big and thick and I looove scratching my nose. My alter ego? She's that girl your mother warned you about.
ABOUT THE BLOG
Documenting parts of my rather uneventful life with writings that ocassionally display my schizophrenic tendencies. Blame it on the Gemini starsign.
mixed feelings la.
im gonna be legal on paper. (and im starting to wonder if i shud reali celebrate)
scary ah. i dont want to grow up seh.
susah tau jadi adult. nak kena kerja, jaga mak bapak, cari "the one", kahwin, beli rumah, beranak. if i want to take an MBA, whose gonna sponsor seh? kalau bapak taukey golden chance takpe jugak.. kalau bf anak raja ok jugak.. hee2.. (but i doubt i'll b as happy)
actuali i can see the year ahead passing by very quickly.
jan is the time of writing and submitting the jbp project (submission date 13 jan), of buying books and adjusting to the new tutors at sch, the new timetable, new lappie, the new students at tuition centre, and mum's bday on the 24th (nak belikan wallet bonia.. its the makciks fav "luxury" brand)
feb.. the time where we will realise tt we have been neglecting our studies and partying too much.. and where we will try to catch up with work during the one week break.. the time where i would like to finally, start with my class 3 license (which has seen its fair share of rain-checks). also the month of valentines', where other couples will be busying themselves buying (marked-up price) gifts. we shall spare ourselves tt agony.. kiter tak celebrate valentines la beb..
march.. one word: anniversary. this one we will celebrate =] coming to the close of the term.. foresee week 9 to 11 as being hectic crazy. proj deadlines, assignments, presentations.. (u know the drill)
apr.. exams. haha. seriously. it IS that soon. and we will probably start the campaign for pulling in students to the school. also the time to bring forward all the tuition lessons from may. preparing the kids for mid yr exams.. i imagine a squishy timetable..
beginning may.. start of internship.. (SCAREHHHHH)
end may.. turning the big TWO-ONE
june.. internship
early july.. end of internship..
end july.. 24/7 & 27/7 as important dates. early2 korang da book. hee2. must remember to start saving for someone's chocolate buffet. also the culmination of "promote ntu campaign". haha. actuali looking forward to doing ambassador stuff under prof geraldine.
august.. start skola lagi.. YEAR 3!! final year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sept.. ramadhan.. prolly joining the Shell competition wif members ku, syaz
oct.. raya puasa.. prolly be away at kota kinabalu for the competition. good.. dun hav to face the pretentiousness of raya.
nov.. exams.. again..
dec.. this is where i realise i only have 4 more months to complete my fyp and graduate. SERAM beb. i foresee a lot of frustration and nak terkencitness. end of december i'll be doing wat im doing now.. which is speculating wat i cud be doing the next year. and the realisation tt i wud have to leave the peaceful (relatively unpolitical) singapore education system and plunge, head first into corporate life. THINKING OF IT MAKES ME NERVOUS AS HELL.
i am not afraid to admit it.
i dont want to grow up.
DISCLAIMER: i do realise this is an idealistic and super naiive projection la.. kita hanya merancang, tuhan yang menentukan.. kan?
link this post |
Its basically a play about the "supernatural" things tt our boys seem to come across during their time at tekong. the setting of the play is a topography.. umm.. thing.. tt our boys have to go thru during ns. basically, they are dropped in the middle of nowhere, given maps and compasses and have to make their way to 12 checkpoints in 3 days in the jungle. the main players are 2 soldiers, one overzealous, gungho one, and the other, a guy with a third eye. along the way, this third eye guy keeps coming across this girl, an "orang bunian" (ppl in another dimension) who sorts of leads them to all the checkpoints. at the end, the guy accidentally "shoots" the girl's bf with his blank rounds, and said to the girl tt he would bear responsibility. so the girl.. umm.. "takes him into her realm".. and he dies..
i guess the writer (who was also one of the players) tried to be helpful by inserting some religious elements into the play. although, at times, i found it kinda annoying in a dogmatic sorta way. especiali when they did not prepare a place for prayers altho the play was slated to start at 8 pm. so, basically, i did not know what to think la.. although, i would not want to judge in such circumstances. i belief it would be unfair to do so.
in terms of acting, i could say that subtle can be vivid sometimes. but, coming from some one who cant act for nuts, they did a good job. my favourite part was when the overzealous guy said tt ghosts were not real, tekong is reali very boring and the boys just make up the stories to impress their mums and girlfriends.
"U, hari tu kat Tekong I nampak hantu..."
"I terus kejar dia, tembak pakai blanks"
"Kan macam mana punya hero la!"
haha.
i wondered if its true. them just making up stories to impress. i mean, it is very plausible.
on the turn out, i was pleasantly surprised to say the least. there were about 50ish ppl there despite it being staged at cairnhill arts centre which is reali kinda out of the way and pretty dingy, to be honest. i also learnt tt they had a matinee show earlier, and i think the turn out must have been around those numbers too. to me, it kinda shows that hey, there are quite a number of ppl who are interested in the arts and ready and raring to support our local artists, ESPECIALLY if the work is something people can relate to.
im not an artist, so i wouldnt know. but from my experience of being around arty farty ppl, there are usually quite weird. as in, the way they think and the way they see things is normally very different from us 'normal' ppl. and of course, as an artist, i would expect them to have a heightened aesthetical "sense".
but wat im getting at is tt, artists reali shudn feel forsaken (or maligned) and deliberately set themselves apart from the society ( which is wat i feel some artists are always subconsciously trying to do). if they reali want to share the joys, thoughts and feelings of their art, then they must find a way to do it in a way that can touch and reach the audience easily.
in terms of financial support, i can see why local artists find it difficult to make a livelihood. we paid $12 for each ticket and i guess for this play they could probably make about $1000? (altho this is a terribly optimistic figure) takeaway their rent for the space, A/C and stuff and split it among 5 players. they wont reali get much. and its not like each of them can churn out a new play every week.. these things require a LOT of commitment in terms of TIME, SKILL and EFFORT to even present something that is halfway decent. so, there should be some empathy in terms of their financial plight.
that said, i do have some friends in the arts circuit who are supporting a very comfortable lifestyle, doing the things they love. for example, being a drama coach or choreographer for schools and stuff. i guess, just like any other person, hard work and diligence pay off. so, seen from this angle, it might be difficult to say that artists are poor (coz tts wat they all say).
and another thing, i believe we shud stop comparing our society and local audiences to audiences in Europe who are already well-versed and have sophisticated appreciation for the arts. i see that our society is slowly but surely becoming more and more receptive to the arts. the challenge here for our artists is to pacify audiences, give us more relevence and help us understand and appreciate the finer strokes of art.
so there. my sentiments for tonight.
and as for the play, mek gives 3.5 out of 5 stars.
good night.
=]
link this post |
Have u tried to freefall?
Letting go of all u have
No control
Just let go..
Have you tried to freefall?
When all plans fail
No future in sight
Relinquish to the light
Who's to say they are cowards
For they dare face the unknown
Of what is going to happen
Of how much it will hurt
Have you tried to freefall?
Is the pain quick?
Is it severe?
Or is it both?
And when the cold sets in
Do u shiver?
Or just feel numb?
Does death linger around?
And hang like a miasma
Denigratingly
Over you
Have u tried to freefall?
When ur heart is broken
Not for the first time
They beckon u over
Whisper sweetness in ur ears
Urging u to let go
With a push, ever slightly so
"Everything has an end."
they murmur
Have you tried to freefall?
And mend urself back again?
After losing all u want
Like the boy who drives u insane.
-Nia Dijam-
link this post |
an idealistic, simplistic and almost impossible virtue to live by.
why?
because we are so caught up with telling ppl the "right thing to do".
because telling ppl the right thing to do validates us. it makes our actions more correct. more justified. or even if we are making the same mistakes, it demonstrates that at least we know "what's right".
it just makes us feel better.
i've tried to live by this dictum.
but again, i found it almost impossible.
why?
because i wish to have a say in everything said or done around me. if i truly were to live upon this virtue, i would not want to encroach on thoughts and opinions of others. ur opinion is urs, mine is mine.
but i succumb to parker's temptation. no, not peter parker.. nosy parker. i believe the colloquial term for this phenomenon is "kaypoh". i cant help but want a say abt someone.. or how someone does something.
like blogging.. in theory i understand the notion of to each his own. evryone is entitled to their own opinions on their own turf. but i cant help but cringe at the sort of things written. Wittingly inviting controversy. at first i thought of it as random, desultory and mostly feeble, pathetic attempts at publicity. but to think of it, it may in fact stem from a very basic physiological need. the need for security.
we want to be validated by others. and patronage, backing and support might just do it.
conversely, we want opposition. divergence of thoughts. we want separation from the rest so that we feel unique. Maslow's self actualization perhaps.
this tool of blogging is powerful. u can carve a sort of superlative image over others. mostly (and sadly) by conforming to the archetype bloggers. at least tt has been my observation thus far. i believe it gives a just portrayal of life itself, applying it to a broader scope.
thinking about it just motivates me to know myself and be myself. i want to be someone who doesnt need corroboration.
link this post |
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